Mothers and Others: Hierarchies and Continuums of Non-Motherhood and Motherhood Book

I listened to this audio book on a long road trip. My own mother abandoned me & my siblings when I was 6 years old & my father passed away when I was 16, & my step mom left right afterwards. I found alot of the author's feelings, FEARS & ways of doing things were the same as mine. Things such as buying clothes for my son 2, 3, 4 years in advance, always trying to plan "what will my son do if something happens to me", my severe over protectiveness of him, my inability to go out for one night without feeling that I have abandoned him, and a dozen things like that....they are the things I have been doing since my 6 year old was born. Thinking things like "I will not hurt him nor let anyone else". I will protect him like my mom should have me.

So many things in the book rang true, but then some chapters just seemed to ramble on & on and would be boring to me. I found it inconsistent maybe for lack of a better word, or maybe she gave too many attention to details that had nothing to do with the point. I found it informative & it did help me to understand so many of my own feelings & fears & some of the mistakes I had already realized I am making such as being too protective. My son will not take risks & I know it is because I have always have, & still do try to shield him from any pain. I had already realized what I was doing as far as the over protectiveness goes, but I was amazed at some of the things I never related to being abandoned at a young age & losing the other parent to death.

All in all, I think the book was well worth listening to. It was comforting to know others who lost their mother at a young age act these same weird ways I do & have these same weird fears that I have about my parenting. I knew many of my parenting fears & doubts came from the fact that I had nobody to model my parenting after & I have read & read parenting books because of not having any good mother example to "go by". Finding out that this is common among mothers who lost their own mother at a young age was comforting & so many of the other little things that give tips & advice actually did make me feel better.