Learning from Divorce: How to Take Responsibility, Stop the Blame, and Move On! Book

I actually finished this one a couple of weeks ago and I had gone through it quite slowly, since I was reading it to slowly digest it rather than as a fun reading experience (as the title implies). When my ex-husband and I first separated I had a very difficult time finding good divorce resources. I had little money, so buying books on Amazon was not an option for me, the library selection was not very good and thrift stores have only the selection that is available on a given day. Also, I approach the subject of divorce from a strongly Christian perspective, which means I was looking for something to speak to my situation: namely, how to approach a divorce when it is not my desire or wish and when I'm strongly opposed to the idea in general? This one, thankfully, was available at a thrift store, was in my price range and has some Christian principles so I didn't feel I was being preached at to hate my ex, as some of the other "resources" I'd come across had done.

I wish I'd come across this one much earlier on, before the divorce was finalized, in fact, even at the beginning. But in the beginning I still wasn't considering divorce, I was still trying to save my marriage, so I don't know that I would have read this anyway. I didn't agree with everything in it (still don't) but nothing was so drastic that it either offended or made me angry. It talks about the fact that yes, this is happening, and yes, there are things that one MUST do to make the longer-term consequences easier... but even if you don't or you've skipped steps or made mistakes, it's not the end of the world and mistakes can be overcome. It discusses everything from attorneys to how to handle the ex and the kids and the in-laws, to what to do about income and finances, to what to do about living situation, to dating and remarriage. He is very clear that each situation is unique and each of those topics must be handled according to the unique situation. No one's story is just like someone else's.

My beefs with the book: he states somewhere in the middle that there is a bibliography of resources at the back of the book. Not so (and yes, I know it was a thrift store find, but I could not see evidence of any pages having been removed) and the author does not appear to have a website or anywhere that lists these resources, which I very much would like to scour through, because as I stated, I had difficulty finding resources aimed at the Christian perspective. I may just have to write my own someday. Two, it's not until about halfway through the book that he strongly recommends that no matter the circumstances of the divorce or how amiable it appears, GET AN ATTORNEY! This is something I strongly hold to as well, because even though my divorce was relatively peaceful in the legal and financial settlements, there were still issues and the peace of mind of having someone who understands the legal elements advising me along the way was worth far more than the money I paid him. This point should have been made very early on in the book, as it's very essential (which I suppose means I should have put it early in my own review?)

All in all, it's a good resource to try. It has points that were helpful and others not as much, and some that simply don't apply (as in my case, since there were no children or property involved in my divorce). I'm not saying you will love or hate it, just that part or all can be helpful.