I Had Brain Surgery, What's Your Excuse?: An Illustrated Memoir Book

Let me preface this by saying I am a survivor of brain surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. I bought the book because of the glib title. I could not relate to the first half of this book. I think the author and I were just too different in how we handle health concerns. I didn't hide from, mine. I wanted to know why my body and brain were failing me. I did not have seizures prior to the one that sent me in an ambulance from my place of employment to receive the bad news.
However I did have many small health issues that looking back on it, were clues to something bigger. I had some balance issues a year prior and I went to my doctor and told him I was no longer able to do yoga poses that I had conquered months prior. He did an evaluation and some physical therapy followed and I did get a bit better, but not 100%.

Next I found I was having memory issues. I did not see these until a radio commercial was advertising a Pistons game, and I turned to my spouse and said, we should go see the Pistons. We've never done that. He looked at me and said, yes we have we went last year. An argument ensued in which I was insisting we went to see the Spartans play in the same venue as the Pistons use, but we did not see the Pistons. He started looking concerned and said, I'm sorry but you're wrong. your daughter and her friend went with us so call her if you don't believe me. Naturally, I wanted to prove I was right so I picked up my cell and called my daughter who told me yes we had been to a Pistons game. To this day I still don't recall this. But I do recall making an immediate call to my doctor after ending the phone call to my child.

Once in the office he asks me, so what other memory issues are you having?
I laughed and said how am I suppose to know what I have forgotten? But this seems pretty significant. So blood work ordered and a large vitamin D and iron deficiency diagnosed and began treatment and things seemed better.

Then came the seizure at work which left me unconscious. I woke up in the hospital surrounded by family and medical staff asking me if I knew where I was. Knew I was in a hospital for sure but not which one. Knew it had to be serious because my brother, who rarely went to the hospital during my father's major health issues, was there. I asked am I going to die? The doctors wanted to know why had I jumped to that conclusion and I said because he's here. I was told I had what may be 3 tumors and they were sending me for further testing. Luckily it turned out to be only one, the other two were bleeds that had occurred during my fall.

All along the way I wanted to know every detail. I even called my family doctor to see if I could get switched to another surgeon because the one they had assigned me was giving me the proverbial pat on the head and telling me not to worry, I didn't need to know what he was going to do only that he was an expert and I would be just fine. I told him, excuse me but if you are going to cut into my head and need my permission you will tell me step by step every part of this procedure. He said, I will leave you with scheduling and we'll talk later. I did not stop at scheduling I went home to look for another surgeon.

So when Suzy kept putting her head in the sand and ignoring seizures from the onset it really irked me. I ended up staying at the hospital I was at because my oncologist was considered one of the best in the world according to my family doctor. I had been lucky to have been admitted when he was the only neuro-oncologists on staff, as he did not usually take cases like mine. My good fortune became apparent when I was often sharing a waiting room with wealthy people from all over the world who had come to see him.

I know I was fortunate that I did not lose as much of myself as Suzy did, but I shared her frustration with people who wanted to offer her psychotherapy when what she wanted was practical advice on how to get better. I too keep that mental list of me before vs. me after. I have friends who say I am nicer now. My mother says I am more short tempered now. I told her I think the not putting up with garbage is a part of being 50 and not a brain tumor thing. But it could also be a function of surviving. I just see life as fragile and refuse to waste any of it on drama or idiots.

Things I notice: I have to make lists and check things off. I had to stop my baking side business because too often I forget an ingredient. Bad enough when you serve a pumpkin pie without sugar to your family. Not acceptable for a paying customer. I can not swing dance as well as I once could, it makes me dizzy, and I tire more easily. I take longer to retrieve memories and information, so my dreams of being a jeopardy contestant are shattered.

I kept reading all of these reviews saying how funny this book was. I did not find it funny. Not once did I laugh out loud.