How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting Book

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction: The Amazing Result of One Simple Change 1

Part 1 Helping Yourself as a Parent

1 The Miracle and the Mess 9

2 What Determines How We Parent 20

3 The Avoider Parent 32

4 The Pleaser Parent 49

5 The Vacillator Parent 62

6 The Controller Parent 79

7 The Victim Parent 94

Part 2 Helping Your Child

8 Helping Any Child 111

9 The Avoider Child 121

10 The Pleaser Child 130

11 The Vacillator Child 142

12 Controller and Victim Children 152

Part 3 Unique Children

13 The Introverted Child 177

14 The Free-Spirited Child 181

15 The Determined Child 186

16 The Sensitive Child 194

17 The Premature Child 199

Part 4 The Healing Journey for Parents and Children

18 The Gift of Insight 211

19 The Gift of Comfort 217

20 The Gift of Power 226

21 The Gift of Frustration 233

22 The Gift of Confession 241

23 The Gift of Laughter 249

24 The Gift of God: The Perfect Parent 259

Appendix: Parent Toolbox

Comfort Circle for Parenting 268

Soul Words 269

Conversation Starters 270

Positive Descriptive Words 272

Listener Guide 273

Speaker Guide 276

Awareness and Reflection Skills 278

For Further Study: Attachment Theory 280

Notes 283

Bibliography 290