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Acknowledgments vii
Introduction ix
Are You Ready to Rumble? 1
The Brutal Truth about Divorce 2
Divorce Ain't for Sissies 10
Divorce Is Not a Spectator Sport 13
Decision Time 19
Choose Your Corner 23
Sizing Up Your Opponent 23
Aggressor Versus Challenger 26
Taking a Stance 31
Timing the First Bout 40
Gloves Off! When Not to Hold Punches 43
Conditioning for the Fight of Your Life 49
Psyching Up for the Fight 50
Marshaling Your Resources 51
Getting Your Bucks in a Row 58
Better Your Odds: Beef Up Your Legal Muscle 65
To Do or Not to Do It Yourself 66
The Best One-Two Combination: Legal Brains + Legal Brawn 70
Teaming Up with a Kick-Ass (So Yours Won't Get Kicked) Lawyer 74
How to Be a Champion Client 86
When Your Lawyer Doesn't Measure Up 88
Your Best Defense: Offense (a.k.a. Preparation) 91
Information Is Power 92
Gathering Data and Documents 97
Devising a Game Plan 104
Word Out: Who to Tell, When 113
Eye of the Tiger: Rising to the Challenge 115
Lightweight: Cooperative Divorce 116
Welterweight: Mediated Divorce 118
Middleweight: Collaborative Divorce 122
Heavyweight: Negotiated Adversarial Divorce 126
Extreme Competition: Litigated Divorce 130
Different Stakes in Different States 137
What or Who Is to Blame? 138
Property Distribution Laws 148
Mandatory Versus Voluntary Intervention 152
Child-Related Issues 152
Spousal Support Laws 154
Residency Requirements 154
Ringside Casualties: Protecting Children 155
Child Custody 157
Residential/Visitation Schedule 172
Relocating 178
Child Support 179
Other Shared Expenses in Raising Children 186
Getting Your Dues: Money Matters 189
Quantifying Your Contribution to the Marriage 191
The Net Worth of Your Economic Partnership 192
Inventory of Property 193
Valuation of Property 199
Fight or Settle? Weighing Costs Versus Benefits 212
Debt and Credit Issues 217
Spousal Support 218
Pro Divorce: A Blow-by-Blow Playback 221
Commencing the Action 223
Pleadings 226
Emergency Relief Motion 227
Financial Disclosure 230
Discovery 232
Settlement Negotiations 237
Note of Issue 244
Trial 245
Final Disposition 246
Claiming Your Victory 247
Glossary 251
Forms and Worksheets 261
Index 287
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