Healthy relationships Book

While it's fun to rage with Rage, there aren't a lot of reasoned questions in that title, let alone answers. Deutsch's book is here the fill that gap. She looks at how couples divide up household chores in an academic way and tries to suss out patterns in the data. It's not super scientific, but it is nicely systematic.

Deutsch is looking at two things: the perception of the division of labor and the reality of it. This gives her a data set perfect for shooting down the usual theories.

"Only men who are committed to feminist ideals split household chores evenly."
"It's all about the money- guys make more so women have to be the one to take on the brunt of household chores."
"Women want to stay at home; they don't like leaving it, and they are naturally closer to their children in a way that fathers can never dream of."

Deutch proves each of these ideas to be incorrect. What was most surprising to me was the number of households who actually choose to make less money by having the dad work/work more hours outside the home than the mom. This happens across socioeconomic brackets, so it's not a simple question of money. Deutch also points out that in cases where the man does make more money, in many cases this is because he has been able to put in the training/time to reach that level of better economic returns. In many cases, if the woman had had that same opportunity, the story might be very different.

Halving It All starts with the what (simply, plainly) and starts to delve into the why. After all, Rage alone never comes up with a reasonable plan.