Finding Your Religion When the Faith You Grew Up With Has Lost Its Meaning Book

Just grabbed it off the bookshelf. It was a regular literary roulette!

A few days later, Dominic saw this book on the table with my stuff and asked, "Are you reading this?"

"Yep! What did you think of it?" I replied.

"I had to get it for a class. I didn't read it because I dropped the class."

"..."

The author is a chaplain at Tufts University, which explains its (most likely primarily) academic usage and somewhat academic style of writing. It wasn't too much of a drag to read like one would expect from the ivory tower publishing gamut, but it's not something I'd seek out unless I were really at a loss as to where I stand on the religion playing field.

That is not to say I have everything figured out by any means, but as a recovering Catholic, I understand that even though the strict Judeo-Christian traditions aren't right for me, it is beneficial to pursue some route of spirituality. To that end, I've explored a random sampling of Buddhist varietals in effort to gain some peace of mind and a better relationship with the world around me.

The main message of this book is "the mountain is best climbed along marked trails," meaning it is important to have some semblance of accountability to foster your own religious growth. When discussing religion, it is too easy for people to say, "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." From what I've seen, that really means, "I don't like waking up early on Sundays, and now that I finally moved out of my mom's basement, no one can make me!" Comedian Daniel Tosh still has the best answer to this canned slackers' response with "Well I'm not honest, but you're interesting."

The author discusses the six stages of spiritual development, and I will briefly outline them here, although if you're interested in a more accurate definition of each, I recommend reading the book.

1. Magic: A child-like understanding of God as puppet-master.
2. Reality: Trying to make sense of what is literal and what isn't.
3. Dependence: Someone in your life plays a big role in your faith.
4. Independence: You detach and want to demystify religion.
5. Interdependence: Part of a community but also spiritually unique.
6. Unity: Sense of community with people of any and all traditions.

Because this book is geared toward college-age people, readers at the Independence stage will probably benefit most from this book. Those who are questioning which religion best suits their needs are generally past the point of relying on other people to shape their faith and need outside guidance (like this book) to help them along. The author is careful not to sway readers toward any particular faith, but instead he provides a number of anecdotes to explain different transitions from one faith to another.

Beyond the exploration phase, the author urges readers to engage in the practice of the religions that interest you and seek out a community that complements your lifestyle. When he was around my age, he took a trip around the world, sampling new religions in environments that tested his comfort zone. Once I got over the fact that his journey overseas was a million times more productive than mine (in a spiritual sense), I started thinking it might not be a bad idea to try again in a few years. Knowing what I know now about foreign travel, I stand to fair greater from the experience with less baggage than before.

The author also touches on some key issues surrounding having found your religion, namely, the discussion of your conversion with your parents. I actually would have liked to see a bit more on this topic, since it tends to be a sensitive issue for parents. Despite their best efforts, part of becoming an adult is making your own decisions about what you value and what makes you happy. It's important to explain to your parents that your religious choices aren't a sleight against them or how they raised you, but broaching the subject can be tedious and reluctantly procrastinated for many years.

Beyond figuring out what religion is best for you, joining a community with similar interests, and growing within your chosen faith, the author emphasizes the need to rejoice. Instead of calling to mind infinite rows of pews filled with bored people reciting songs and creeds from memory, religion can and should be a celebration of your faith and community. You shouldn't have to wait until a major holiday to get excited about your religion. I think if more people (particularly Westerners) framed religion as something you want to participate in instead of something you have to participate in, we wouldn't find so many people today trying to explain away their religious ambiguity as "spiritual".