Consumer Monitor Book

I thought I was picking up a little how-to title about tipping. Little did I know the book would take me through the 5 stages of grief.

Denial: No. He *cannot* be starting out a book about tipping with a lap dance.

Anger: If he doesn't stop talking about his first book, and how it was so successful that it landed him this sweet gig flying around the country on an expense account, I'm going to throw the cd out the car window.

Bargaining: Please, please, just tell me how much to tip. I'll finish reading the book if you stop interviewing sex workers and pretending it's because you're interested in how much people tip them.

Depression: It's never going to end. He's going to interview every stripper, prostitute, dominatrix and phone-sex worker in America. I've lost the will to live.

Acceptance: Yes, I understand. I should tip everyone. Absolutely everyone. I should start every morning with a visit to the ATM, and leave a trail of bills in my wake.

For a guy who covered the sex trade a little too thoroughly, he sure quotes the Bible a lot. It's a little jarring to go from an interview with a working girl to a verse from Ecclesiastes.