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Foreword Mrs. Pearl Blankman xi
My First Love 3
Can I Have a Million Dollars? 10
Mrs. Glickman's Deposition 15
Letters from an Annoying Man 21
Clothing Optional 29
My NYC Marathon 40
Mendel 44
Herb Sargent 64
Comic Dialogue 69
Bad Exit Strategy 93
The Enchanted Nectarine 96
My Daughter Lindsay 101
Political Positions 114
The Queen and I 119
Dedication 122
Happy 128
The Big Forgery 173
Notes from a Western State 176
Barbarians at the Plate 180
I Saw Your Mother's Ass 194
The Kirschenblatt Affair 200
Stationery Stores 207
True Crime: Me on the Streets of L.A. 210
Between Cars 217
Acknowledgments 249
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Add Clothing Optional: And Other Ways to Read These Stories, Garry, it's Alan. Look, I'm calling because I just felt the need to tell someone that I'm forty-four years old, and about an hour ago, for the first time in my life, I put suntan lotion on my ass. I'll explain later. Bye. In Clothing Option, Clothing Optional: And Other Ways to Read These Stories to the inventory that you are selling on WonderClubX
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Add Clothing Optional: And Other Ways to Read These Stories, Garry, it's Alan. Look, I'm calling because I just felt the need to tell someone that I'm forty-four years old, and about an hour ago, for the first time in my life, I put suntan lotion on my ass. I'll explain later. Bye. In Clothing Option, Clothing Optional: And Other Ways to Read These Stories to your collection on WonderClub |