Big, Beautiful and Pregnant: Expert Advice and Comforting Wisdom for the Expecting Plus-Size Woman Book

Things I liked about this book:

*Yes, I do think there needs to be a good, research-based book for us fat folk who are having babies. Being pregnant and having kids is a different experience for everyone, but being fat and having kids is a different experience from being thin and having kids.

*There is some supportive language in there, and it makes it clear that being overweight or obese is not in and of itself a barrier to getting pregnant and having babies.

*While it mentions some risks of being fat and pregnant, it does not go so far as to say you WILL have one or more of these terrible things happen, which many doctors (incorrectly) will. In fact it does say in multiple places that simply being overweight does not guarantee any of the bad shit will happen.

*There is some information about dv/ipv, what it looks like, and ways to look for help.

*There are pictures and instructions for some low-impact, easy exercises that can be done at home with zero special equipment.

Things I did not like:

*"Sister". Look I am not your sister. Also hi, you can call me fat, it's okay, I'm fat. So be clear, this is definitely not a book written by FA folks or even HAES folks. It was also written by people who have no idea that not every person who gets pregnant is a woman. GREAT.

*There is an entire huge chapter on "prenatal nutrition" that is a diet, complete with "craving this? TRY THIS HEALTHIER ALTERNATIVE" and "saturated fat is bad for you!" There is also plenty of talk about how you really shouldn't gain much weight during pregnancy. It's better than a lot of books, in that it doesn't so much explicitly say you should lose weight during pregnancy - which even some doctors recommend if you're fat and pregnant, and that is SO DANGEROUS I CAN'T EVEN - but it's definitely like "don't overeat and make sure to exercise, fatty, you don't want to gain too much more".

*It also subtly makes the assumption that many of the people who are reading this book are binge eaters and that's why they're fat. Can fat folk have eating disorders? Absolutely. Are fat folk fat because we're all binge eaters (or need to avoid "portion distortion", their actual term)? NOT EVEN CLOSE

*The chapter on finding a care provider literally starts with an admonition to get over any horrible experiences you've had in the past with doctors, and how there's "no excuse" now to not go. "Whatever might hamper your ability to feel completely at ease with members of the medical community is no longer acceptable now that you are pregnant." ACTUAL QUOTE, FOLKS. I mean, yes, prenatal care is vitally important, but get over it? Uhhhhhh. Also can we talk about how many OBs, midwives, and other doctors are fat-shamers extraordinaire and demonstrably provide shittier care to fat folk? No? Huh. There is about two pages on what to do if you feel like you're not getting appropriate care, but that's it.

*This really isn't talking to people who are obese, it's talking to people considered overweight by BMI. Yes, it uses the BMI, unapologetically.

*Did you know that gestational diabetes and "high blood sugar" is the only reason a baby might be more than 10 pounds at birth? I mean, in other parts of the book, it talks about how bigger people tend to have bigger babies, no big deal, but then we get to the chapter - ENTIRE CHAPTER - on gestational diabetes and we get this. *sigh*

*The chapter on doing nice things for yourself and celebrating your pregnancy is the shortest one in the book.

*DIRECT QUOTE from the postpartum chapter: "As much as the diet industry wants you to believe otherwise, eating a healthy, balanced diet, and regularly exercising is the perfect recipe for permanently shedding excess pounds." Hi, I have DECADES OF SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH on the phone, they say you're full of shit?

*There's not actually a terrible lot of good, in-depth information on week-by-week embryonic and fetal development. THAT'S THE FUN SHIT, PEOPLE, PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE CLUMP OF CELLS MIGHT BE DOING RIGHT NOW.

**********

So to sum up, I would not actually call this a supportive or fat-positive book. For someone who has never come across FA or HAES, sure. It's way better than a lot of books or websites out there. But if you are familiar with those concepts - as well as with much of the actual research on obesity and pregnancy - this book is intensely frustrating, and not nearly as supportive as it could be. Basically, what I learned from this book is that there is still a need for good, non-shaming, non-weight-focused pregnancy information and support out there. Well-Rounded Mama is AMAZING, but I would love, LOVE to see some quality books on the subject as well.