Best Books for Junior High Readers Book

"What's on the agenda, Brenda?"
"Oh, hey there, daddy."
"Say, what's the matter? You're killing me with your sad pan."
"I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm a permanent resident of Dullsville."
"Yeah? Go ahead, pad my skull."
"It just seems like everything I read is by some goon from Saskatoon. It's like strictly tin ears around the block. If I could just find somewhere to wet my tonsils and dig some of that real high-tone jazz, you know?"
"I know just the book for you."
"Yeah? Lay it down, enlighten me."
"Straight From The Fridge Dad, that's where it's at these days. I'm telling you, daddy, it's a triple scream and one big yell."
"Never heard of it."
"Never heard of it? You fracture me, Elmer. Scope it out and get your wig tightened. It's gonna send you to the end."
"No foolin'?"
"No foolin', you can take that to the bank and cash it."