An Arrow Through the Heart: One Woman's Story of Life, Love, and Surviving a Near-Fatal Heart Attack Book

This book is exactly what it calls itself, "One woman's story of life, love, and surviving a near-fatal heart attack." She describes in some detail her experience, which was unusually severe, particularly given her youth and strong physical condition.

She survived, obviously, but found her life completely changed by her experience. She needed to learn to accept that she could no longer live the life she had been living, if she wanted to continue to live at all. And, she had to realize that she no longer had the physical ability to do the things she loved to do. What she did have, however, was a very large, strong network of loving family and friends, who joined together to support her and help her and her husband make the transition to her new life.

I found a few thoughts that touched me, but all-in-all I was disappointed in the completely self-absorbed tone of her story. Again, it is exactly as the title says, "one woman's story".

"The truth is that it is far more difficult emotionally to observe someone who is sick and dying than it is to be the patient. Friends and family are the people who actually experience the death, not those who die. The helplessness of those who would to anything but cannot is torturous. My body was the center of an explosion to which I had no choice but to surrender. Family and friends were left violently reeling, too, but they never got to wear the hospital gown that signals, "Be gentle with me because I am in trouble". After the crisis, they were expected to reenter the world as though nothing had happened, unscathed. But that was a lie."

"The loss of spontaneity was the most devastating thing during the period of adjustment. My every move had to be calculated - and I do not have a calculating bone in my body. A catastrophic heart attack destroys trust. No longer can you depend on sunrise following darkness; each second could be your last. Freedom gives way to apprehension. You realize that you will never walk with nonchalance again; each push of your foot through the air seems the most astonishing piece of luck. And it is the same for anyone who loves you."

"By winter's end, in addition to yoga, I had three practices to help me be in life again. I practiced harnessing intuition, our most powerful energetic force. I tried to halt energy drains from hurt by immediately asking myself what I could learn from the situation. And I practiced accepting impermanence by continuing to observe nature, learning to look at life's many betrayals as change, the same stuff that makes daffodils appear like surprises every spring.
Mind you, none of these ideas were new to me. Wise people had tried to get them through my thick skull,..., but it took illness to bring them home with clarity and urgency. I no longer had anything to lose and I had everything to gain; that allowed me finally to absorb what I needed to learn."

"And I am a student of impermance now. Things will change, have already changed, and are changing again. Someone very wise said that the longest and greatest journey is from the head to the heart. My heart attack has taught me to be patient with the journey...."