A Lotus of Another Color: An Unfolding of the South Asian Gay and Lesbian Experience Book

“Our therapist was a white [middle-class woman]...and she misrepresented herself when she claimed to be culturally sensitive. She placed no emphasis on my cultural background; how could she understand me without it? Rather, she conveniently put us under the model of codependency. In principle, I understand this concept; it is inherent to both Hinduism and Buddhism. The self has to be taken care of first. But ultimately, you surrender that self. There is a fine line between codependency and nurturing and other cultural variables have to be examined before either label is placed.
The therapies did not realise that Indians, for the most part, get their sense of self through their bonds with others; we have an extended sense of self. She didn’t appreciate how inappropriate and destructive her approach was when it ignored our cultural differences. Take care of the self is fine, but getting stuff in that mode leads to selfishness.’
- *Meera, A Lotus of Another Color