Becoming Dad: Black Men and the Journey to Fatherhood Book

Leonard Pitts is such a great writer, and I've been looking forward to reading his book ever since I bought it at one of his lectures several years ago. I just finally got around to it, and it was even better than I expected. The book's subtitle could make it sound like it's written only for black men, but, while he is certainly trying to reach that audience here, it's definitely relevant for everyone. If there were ever a college-level class on what it means to be a caring, responsible adult, this book would be required reading, as that's ultimately what it's about. Pitts goes back and forth between a memoir of his own rocky relationship with his abusive father and interviews with other men from all over the country. He is firm in his beliefs but never preachy, and he is far less interested in placing blame than in exhorting everyone to simply do what is necessary to make sure every kid gets to grow up in a loving environment. I couldn't help thinking back to some of the guys (of many races) I worked with in that writing workshop at the Fort Dodge prison. So many of them reminded me of some of the men in this book: angry at their own fathers' failings, determined to never repeat the same mistakes, and often blind to the irony that they were telling me this after already being arrested for some of the same crimes. As Pitts says, we have to help each other break these devastating cycles because it is not just one race's problem, it is all of our problem, and until we see that and start strengthening the connections between one another, nothing will change.