Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious Book

I do NOT recommend this book. I began the book in anticipation, having heard good things about it from two friends whose opinions I trust. I am very conservative, and I do not disagree with Mrs. Pearl's admonitions to respect and submit to your husband, but much of this book sets my teeth on edge.

My grievances with this book are Mrs. Pearl's consistent hubris and unscriptural assertions. In Mrs. Pearl's opinion, women are at fault for men's sins, from Adam to David (see chapter 11). In contrast, James 1:14 states, "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed." Every man is responsible for his own sin; it is not excusable because of his wife's failings.

In chapter 7, Pearl claims that almost all divorce can be avoided if a wife will merely react properly to her husband. Perhaps that is true if the husband's worst failing is neglecting to take out the trash, but for a wife who has been victimized by her husband's infidelity or abuse, the answers are not that simple. As a wife is not responsible for her husband's sin, neither is she capable of redeeming him. Salvation and the power to turn from sin come only as a man turns to Jesus, "the Way, the Truth, and the Life" (John 14:6).

Further placing the onus of a healthy marriage solely on the wife, Pearl claims in chapter 5, "It doesn't take a good man, or even a saved man, for a woman to have a heavenly marriage..." This is quite an incomplete picture, as the husband is called in Scripture to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Eph.5:25). Only then can the marriage as a whole reflect the mystery of Christ and His bride, the church.

Perhaps the most grievous arrogance Pearl displays is in her repeated, bleak descriptions of single motherhood as a ghetto of poverty and despair. No doubt, it is one of the most difficult paths in life. But Mrs. Pearl leaves no room for God's grace in the life of a woman who, through no fault of her own (yes, Mrs. Pearl, I said "no fault!") has been left husbandless. Psalm 68:5 says, "A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation," and I believe this applies to "widows" of infidelity and abuse as well.

I am passionate about the preservation of marriage, and I believe both partners in marriage are commanded to obey Christ, regardless of their spouse's commitment. I also strongly believe that God will bless those who honor His commands regarding their marital attitudes and actions. For a much more Scriptural portrayal of these principles, I would recommend Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' book "Love and Respect."