Nurturing Attachments: Supporting Children Who Are Fostered or Adopted Book

Acknowledgements     11
Introduction     13
Attachment Theory
Overview of Attachment Theory     23
What is attachment theory?     24
Why are attachment relationships important?     25
What happens when attachment relationships are insecure, unavailable or frightening?     26
What happens as the child grows older?     28
Attachment Theory: Caregiving and its Impact on Attachment and Exploration     31
Characteristics of the attachment relationship     31
Attachment and exploratory behaviour     32
Dimensions of caregiving     33
How attachment behaviour changes through childhood     36
The internal working model     39
Attachment Theory: Patterns of Attachment     45
The secure attachment pattern     45
The organized insecure attachment patterns     48
The disorganized/controlling attachment pattern     54
Non-attachment     58
Difficulties in Development: The Impact of Loss and Trauma     59
The attachment relationship and development     59
Moving into foster and adoptive homes     63
Supporting children with the experience of loss and separation     64
Helping children recoverfrom the trauma of early adverse parenting     65
Safe place visualization     68
Parenting Children with Difficulties Experiencing Relationships as Secure     71
How can an understanding of attachment theory influence parenting?     71
How can we increase feelings of safety for the child?     73
Therapeutic help     78
Parenting and Patterns of Attachment     83
Parenting the child with an ambivalent attachment pattern of relating     84
Parenting the child with an avoidant attachment pattern of relating     86
Parenting the child with a disorganized/controlling attachment pattern of relating     88
Parenting the child who has not learnt to selectively attach     90
A Model for Parenting the Child with Difficulties in Attachment Relationships: Providing a Secure Base
Introduction to the Model and Creating a Secure Base     95
The challenge of parenting children with difficult attachment relationship histories     98
Empathy and Support from the Secure Base     101
What is empathy?     102
Supporting internal experience and managing behaviour     103
Understanding the impact of past experience on parenting     110
Understanding your own attachment history     113
Attunement and Empathy      115
What is meant by attunement?     116
Managing difficult behaviour within attuned relationships     118
How to help children experience attunement through relationship-based play     121
Helping children develop understanding through attuned relationships     123
Protecting the Family Atmosphere and the Development of Emotional Regulation     125
What is a family atmosphere?     126
Developing emotional regulation     128
Additional theory: The process of attachment and the developing brain     130
Creating a Feeling of Belonging for the Child     137
The use of family rituals and claiming behaviours to help children feel that they belong     138
Helping children who are angry     139
Looking After Yourself     145
Making time for reflection and relaxation     146
Stress and coping     150
Making changes     151
Stress thermometer     153
A Model for Parenting the Child with Difficulties in Attachment Relationships: Building Relationships and Managing Behaviour
Helping the Child to Enjoy Being Part of the Family     157
Enjoyment and belonging     158
Additional theory: Socialization and shame     161
Learning to Parent with PACE and Building Relationships with Stories     165
What is meant by PACE?     166
Building relationships with stories     171
Stories written for children     173
Providing Structure and Supervision     181
Using structure and supervision to help the child feel secure     182
Managing Confrontation and Coercive Interactions     187
How to step aside from confrontation     188
Coercive patterns     190
Helping children develop problem-solving abilities     195
Thinking, Feeling and Behavioural Choices     197
Thinking, feeling and behaving     198
The ABC of behaviour     201
Rewards     203
The use of choices and logical consequences     205
Managing Special Difficulties: Lying, Stealing and Self-harm     209
Children and young people who self-harm     209
Managing risk of suicide     213
Creating a safety plan     214
Helping the child who lies and steals     216
Conclusion     221
The house complete     221
References     225
Further Reading     227
Glossary     231
Subject Index     233
Author Index     239