How to Be a Sister: A Love Story with a Twist of Autism Book

Thoughtful memoir of a woman whose sister, Margaret, is afflicted with fairly severe autism. Garvin recounts a number of embarrassing, even humiliating, events from their childhood (and adulthood) that all sound very familiar - the frustration, the repetitive challenges, the feeling of pointlessness - that autism brings. Her difficulties in understanding her sister lead her to a place where she may be able to better understand herself, too. But what's remarkable about the book is that it isn't entirely about her, but it's about her sister - that's no small task given how little she has to work with (in terms of interests, thoughts, etc.). She portrays Margaret as she is, and that includes portraying her as her own person, trying her best to make it through this life. [Possible spoiler alert?] What I also like about the book is that it doesn't have a Disney ending - Margaret doesn't come to live with her, or somehow "snap out of it," or anything else that would have made me roll my eyes. Instead, the author simply seems to arrive at a place where she accepts that this is her sister, and that there is no point in wishing things could be different - and that they can have a relationship, of sorts, regardless of her sister's disability. It's a very honest book, too. Near the end, she says that she has determined that there is no "deeper meaning" behind the autism, but I'm not sure that I agree - she has a beautiful line on 236: "Because you are different, I am different, too." I'm not exactly sure what she meant by that, but I take it as the deeper meaning that she denies.