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Introduction xi
Date 1 First Impressions 1
Date 2 The Prince and the Talker 7
Date 3 Normies 13
Date 4 God and Herpes 19
Date 5 Dreaming in the Land of CHA 25
Date 6 Desperado 31
Date 7 Pie Crust Promises 39
Date 8 The Way We Are 45
Date 9 Cowboys and Peter Pan 49
Date 10 And the RAD Played On 55
Date 11 Finding Faith in Chatsworth 61
Date 12 Love is a Lot like Basketball 67
Date 13 New Beginnings 73
Date 14 Gay Uncles Give Good Heart 77
Date 15 Arrow 81
Date 16 Jakes of all Trades 87
Date 17 Cadillacs and the Two-Headed Snake 93
Date 18 The Well 99
Date 19 Ladies Angeles 105
Date 20 If It Fits 109
Date 21 The Sparkling Ribbon of Time, Act I 113
Date 22 The Schmoos 119
Date 23 That Old Dylan Song 125
Date 24 The Lies of Coco Van Dyne 131
Date 25 Otorongo 137
Date 26 My Momma's Still My Biggest Fan 143
Date 27 Revelations 149
Date 28 California Country 155
Date 29 Cinderella Does Not Smoke Marlboros 159
Date 30 The Perfect Date 165
Date 31 The Council of Butterfly Ancestors 169
Date 32 Nana 175
Date 33 The Chores of Romance 181
Date 34 Being Reese Witherspoon 187
Date 35 Fake Cannoli and Pixie Dust 193
Date 36 This Brother of My Mother 201
Date 37 High Fidelity 205
Date 38 Sober and the City 211
Date 39 The Condors of La Cañada 217
Date 40 Archetypes Away 223
Date 41 All-American Dates 227
Date 42 Beautiful People 231
Date 43 Love Will Tear Us Apart 237
Date 44 The Magic of Growing Up 241
Date 45 The Sparkling Ribbon of Time, Act II 247
Date 46 Same Story, Different People 253
Date 47 I Win 257
Date 48 The Comedy Show of Errors 261
Date 49 The Stars and the Moon 265
Date 50 La Cosa Nostra 271
Date 51 The Sparkling Ribbon of Time, Act III 277
Acknowledgments 285
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