Little Wave and Old Swell: A Fable of Life and Its Passing Book

2.5 stars. I know, I know. I can hear you out there saying "2.5 stars for one of the ALL TIME PULP SF CLASSICS" and looking at me like I just made a mess on the floor.

Rest assured, I'm not trying to drop gastronomical "leftovers" in the PULP SF punch bowl and my rating does not indicate a dislike for the book. As mentioned below, I was probably between 3 and 4 stars on the book EXCEPT FOR ONE THING THAT DROVE ME BAT SHIT NUTSO. So please let me explain my rating before you begin planning to hoist me on a very large petard.

PRELIMINARY COMMENTS

In order to give my comments below some context, I want to have the following on record before I begin:

1. I am a fan of sword and sorcery, sword and planet, pulp SF and planetary romances and so this book is certainly in my strike zone. Thus, I don't feel like I need to cut this book any slack in my rating as I might for a book that recognized may just not be "my kind of story."

2. I have not read a ton of the specific sub-genre "pulp planetary romance" of which the Barsoom series is the quintessential example. However, if you add in sword and sorcery and the other sub-genres mentioned above that deal with the same major plot elements (larger than life hero, exotic locations, strange creatures/aliens in a "pulpy" wrapper than I have read (and LOVED) quite a bit.

3. I have only read two other works by Burroughs, At the Earth's Core and Tarzan of the Apes and I didn't love either one of them so it is certainly possible that me and E.R. are not as compatible as I would like (though I am not ready to give up on our relationship yet as you will see below).

BRIEF PLOT SUMMARY

John Carter was an officer in the confederate army during the Civil War and is seemingly immortal in so far as he explains that he has no memory of childhood and has always appeared to be approximately 30 years old. Through an unexplained phenomenon he is transported to Mars where the weaker gravity gives him great strength and agility. From there the story is mostly a travelogue as Carter meets the various tribes of Martians and we learn their background. While mostly a travelogue, Carter does get involved in a political struggle among various Martian factions as a result of his becoming enamored with Dejah Thoris (the titular Martian Princess).

THOUGHTS ON A PRINCESS OF MARS

On the plus side, despite my lack of real positive ratings on the Burroughs books I have read, I think his writing is decent and I do not have any real problem with his prose. I say this not to imply that he was technically skilled so much as that he wrote well in the "pulp style" that his stories called for (i.e., flowery, descriptive language and an overly melodramatic tone). In that context, I think Burroughs' writing was just fine.

I also like the character of John Carter who is a true blue virtuous hero in the grand tradition of Golden Age SF. I also liked the various Martian cultures and strange animals he encounters and thought the world-building was pretty good to very good and certainly interesting enough to get me to come back and try another one of the Barsoom stories before I decide how I feel about the series.

So for, I would have been squarely between 3 stars and 4 stars. I don't think 5 stars was ever in the cards for this one as there was no element that reached the level of either Howard's Conan or Wagner's Kane, both of whom I hold in very high regard despite what my review of Darkness Weaves may indicate about Conan's inferiority to Kane (I would note that those results are still being validated).

So what brings the book down to 2.5 stars. The answer is simple, there was one aspect of the story that drove me ABSOLUTELY GARY BUSEY CRAAAAAZY:




This groan inducing aspect was John Carter having to describe his own AWESOMENESS because Burroughs chose to tell the story in the FIRST PERSON. I see this as a fundamental flaw because it meant that all of the wonderful, larger-than-life descriptions of Carter had to come from, uh, his own mouth. Sorry, NOT GOOD!!!

Here are a just a few quotes from the book that illustrate what I am referring to:
"….[t]he following of a sense of duty has always been a fetich of mine throughout my life; which may account for the honors bestowed upon me by three republics, and the decorations and friendships of an old and powerful emperor and several lesser kings."

"My mind is evidently so constituted that I am subconsciously forced into the path of duty without recourse to tiresome mental processes. However that may be, I have never regretted that cowardice is not optional for me."

"To a Red Martian, escape by this path would have appeared impossible, but to me, with my earthly strength and agility, it seemed already accomplished."

"During the day, I was pitted against first men and then beasts, but as I was armed with a long-sword and always outclassed my adversary in agility and generally in strength as well, it proved by child's play to me."

"So with the cunning of a madman, I backed into the corner…."

"There is, there must be a way, and John Carter, who has fought his way through a strange world for love of you will find it." .
.
.
.....It just made me want to scream at him:


Now I had no problem with the sentiment expressed by the above quotes as all of them are classic pulp hero language. My problem was that due to the first person narrative Carter was forced to say all of these things about HIMSELF. I just found it to be the wrong style for this over the top hero tale and it hurt my head to have to listen to him explain his ultimate badassery while trying to avoid sounding completely pompous. Thus, I like the story concept and the world building and even teh character of John Carter. I just didn't like John Carter loving him so much John Carter.