The White Knight Syndrome Book

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

The Contemporary White Knight

Behind the Motivation to Rescue

Who This Book Is For

Why We Wrote This Book

What This Book Covers

Let's Begin

1 White Knight Basics 7

White Knight Commonalities

The Subtypes

The Rescuer Who May Also Be the Rescued

The White Knight Syndrome

2 The White Knightin Training 25

Attachment and Your Brain

Relationships Create Beliefs

Little Rescuers

Taking the Blame

Shame and Inadequacy

The Little White Knight Grows Up

Summing Up

3 Heart of the Knight 39

Conceptualizing Altruism

The Altruism-Empathy Connection

Conceptualizing Empathy

Empathy and the Brain

Empathy and the White Knight

White Knight Altruism

The Complexity of Motivation

Summing Up

4 White Knight Self-Protection 53

Your Self

Protecting Your Self

Trapped in the Armor: A White Knight's Dream

Summing Up

5 Knight Stories: The Overly Empathic White Knight 67

Understanding Betsy

Understanding Ron

Overly Empathic Patterns

Summing Up

6 Knight Stories: The Tarnished White Knight 91

Understanding Brad

Understanding Kimberly

Tarnished Patterns

Summing Up

7 Knight Stories: The Terrorizing/Terrified White Knight 115

Understanding Brenda

Understanding Victor

Terrorizing/Terrified Patterns

Summing Up

8 The Rescued 139

The Two Categories of Rescued Partners

White Knight or Rescued: Who Is Who?

Variations of the Rescued

Summing Up

9 The Balanced Rescuer 155

Understanding Denise

Understanding Keith

Balanced Rescuer Patterns

Summing Up

10 White KnightSelf-Reflection 179

Self-Perspective

Rescuing Yourself

Final Reflections

References 195