Haw! Haw! Haw! Whooee!!!: The Best of Bob Terrell's Rib-Ticklers and Belly Laughs Book

	Publisher's Foreword	11
1	Everyday Language
	A Senator Who Told It Like It Was	13
	Not My Job	14
	His Dog Doesn't Bite	14
	Not His Real Name	15
	Fantastic Jones	15
	It's New	16
	How You Listen	16
	Wife-Stealer	17
	Winston-Salem's Biggest Wedding	17
	Good Reason	20
	Telling the Truth	20
	Dear Jesus	20
2	As a Matter of Fact
	Where, Indeed?	22
	Don't Worry, Mom	22
	Solution	24
	These Words Should Be Real	25
	Don't Trust Them	26
	Going to Hell	26
	A Matter of Transportation	26
	Firefighters	26
	A Bargain Cruise	27
	In So Many Words	28
	Square Pumpkins	28
	It Stays Put	29
	Cancel the Ad, Please	29
	First Prize	30
	Sobering a Drunk	31
	Why Women Talk Too Much	31
	Who Said That?	31
	Some Kind of a Fool	32
	Really Good News	34
	Who Unplugged Wally?	35
	Honest, Girls, I Didn't Write This	36
	Casey Jones	37
	A Problem on the Job	39
	He Could Tell Them Apart	40
	His Just Reward	41
3	It's All in the Genes
	One Drink of Water	42
	Confounded Fool!	43
	Tempting Offer	45
	Zzz! Zzz! Zzz! Zzz	45
	Wow! What a Movie!	47
	Family Forest	48
	How to Paint a Bookcase	50
	That Fat Man	52
	No More Teen-Agers	53
4	The Adventures of Hugh Dorsey Brown
	The Plumber	55
	Hugh Brown's Odyssey	57
	What Killed the Cat?	60
	Hugh's Vacation	64
5	A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to
	Where Would You Land?	68
	Playing Games	68
	The Up-the-Creek Boys	69
	Anyone Can Make a Mistake	70
	Alexander Graham Who?	73
	Honk! Honk!	73
	Warning Signs	74
	Cry in the Night	75
	Great Picture	75
	Yes, Thank You!	76
	Egypt's National Sport	77
	An Easy Job	79
	The Bells of Notre Dame	80
	What Language Barrier?	81
	Fast Enough	82
	Debbie's Dilemma	82
	The First Time I Saw Athens	84
	Off You Go!	88
	Yes, He'd Been There	89
	No Safer Place	89
	You Can't Get There From Here	91
	Where?	94
6	And the Moral of the Story is
	Don't Mess With Him	96
	Mistaken Identity	97
	Flying Fool	97
	Just Arrived	98
	Don't Do It	98
	Pest Control	99
7	Grace
	The End of Time	100
	The Bible in Fifty Words	102
	Good Reason	103
	Toughest Interview	103
	Questions, Please	104
	In God's Own Time	106
	On the Stage	108
	Choosing A Preacher	108
	What a Friend	110
	Going to Church	110
	Your Turn	112
	Discarded Seagull	113
	Compassionate Kid	113
	Getting a Wife	113
	Talking Parrots	114
	Poor Rich Man	114
	Sermon for the Day	115
	No, No, Jack	115
	There is Always a Way	116
	Billy's Sense of Humor	117
	Broad-Minded Presbyterians	118
	No Catholics There	119
8	The Rat Race
	The Long Way	120
	Uncle Bing	121
	The Dinnymite Bum	121
	Cat Ranch	123
	How You String the Words Together	125
	More Gremlins	130
	Bad Day	131
	Jim Bishop's Collection	131
	What Is Relativity?	132
	No Vacancy	133
	Coping	133
	He Did His Job Well	133
	Full Explanation	134
	Give It Thought	134
	That's How It Is	135
	A Load of Salt	135
	Don't Leap Before You Look	138
	Hurry! Hurry!	140
	Dear Alice	140
	Solving Problems	141
	More Confusion	141
	She Hates 'em	142
	Small World	142
	Last Shot of the War	143
	Invasion of Privacy	145
	And What Else?	145
	First Things First	146
	Delivering the Mail	146
	Takin' 'em As They Come	147
	Guilt by Innuendo	147
9	Around the House
	How to Trim a Roast	149
	There's a Difference	149
	Wrong Guess	150
	Pulling for Her Team	150
	Yes, It Was Good	151
	Problem Solved	151
	What Happens to Socks?	152
10	Foul Ball
	Art Blunt's Forty Homers	155
	Conquering the Football Syndrome	157
	How to Fish	158
	Rodeo!	158
	Wrong Way	160
	He Meant It, Too	160
	America's Pastime	161
	Yes, It Could Happen	162
	Handling a Hustler	163
	The Incomparable Redhead	164
	Following Directions	165
	No Autograph	165
	New Drink	166
	Flying Without a Plane	166
	Scared to Death	163
	And Still Unbeaten	169
	Perfect Rundown	169
	All in Knowing How	171
	Good Third Base	171
	Just Like Rover	172
	Eastern Standard	172
	Hello, There!	172
11	The Good Old Days
	Journalistic Fun	174
	Hosspower Days	175
	A Lively Wake	178
	Composition or What?	179
	Some Kind of a Broad	179
	Junior G-Men	181
	Annie Oakley and Amelia Earhart	183
	Best Dinner in Town	185
12	Lists from the Internet
	Hymns	188
	Witticisms	189
	Newspaper Headlines	190
	Wise Advice from Kids	191
	Questions That Deserve Answers	192
13	Women, Bless 'em
	How to Get an Interview	194
	Smart Girl	195
	Here, Have a Drink	197
	How to Marry	198
	A Considerable Change	198
14	A Dose of Medicine
	Many Surprises	199
	Good News and Bad	199
	Be Careful, Please	200
	No Problem	200
	The Wonders of Modern Medicine	200
	Patient Care	201
	Problem Solved	202
	Not Just One Nut, Ethel	202
	Grounds for Suit	204
	Demented in Dream Town	204
	Grandpa's Miracle Cure	206
	Amazing Fellows	207
15	Trials and Trails of a Public Speaker
	Speakers Beware!	208
	Ding! Dong!	210
	Redemption	211
	Remember Me	212
	No Slides	212
	You Gotta Get Their Attention	215
16	Animal Kingdom
	Beginner's Luck	216
	Honest Man	217
	Catching A Mule	217
	The Used Hog	219
	A Bargain Deal	220
17	A Time for Truth
	Exactly Three-ten	221
	The Best	223
	Colonel of What?	224
18	Politics and Politicians
	New Kind of Platform	225
	Out of Order	225
	An Orator Speaks	226
	Inside the Pearly Gates	227
	The Heavenly Choir	227
	Campaign Report	228
	Going to Press	229
	Ole Bullet's Campaign	229
	All Political Stories Aren't Funny	232
19	Old Favorites
	Trick or Treat?	233
	Merry Christmas, Uncle Herbert	234
	How Big?	235
	Prayer Helps	236
	Christmas Pageant	236
	Breakable items	236
	Bob Winkler's Wild Ride	237
	Ricochet!	239
	Time Out!	239
	Oops!	240
	Death Bed	241
	Next of Kin	242
	Read Those Signs	242
	Force of Habit	243
	Special Prayer	244
	Trust in God	244
	Sorry He Asked	244
	He Killed 'em	245
	Sister Fohney's Bill	246
	The B.C.	247
	Brothers In or Out of the Cloth	247
	Toughest Job	248
	Whiskey Blues	249
	Help!	250
	Ghostly Business	251
	Private Eye	251
	He Found Out	252
	Tough Lesson	253
	Under the Limit	253
	On The Wagon	253
	Sure Cure	254
	Just to be Sure	255
	Laughing All The Way	255
	Tell It Like It Is	256
	No Place for Uncertainty	256
	Dead Mules	257
	Matter of Choice	257
	Fainting Spells	258
	Curb Service	258
	Bring the Pot	259
	It Really Works	259
	Sorry About That	260
	It Helped Him	260