The Happy Hooker Book

No one frolicked around with German shepherds in my copy - and I sure as hell don't feel cheated on.

The Happy Hooker is a trainwreckalicious biography. It's plainly and poorly written, and it should be. An overly polished memoir would've failed to deliver that feeling of authenticity to Xaviera Hollander's story.
If one thing becomes clear in her biography - which describes how Xaviera grew up, took a flight to New York one day to be with a sucky boyfriend, then got a job as an escort to earn a few extra bucks and ultimately managed to become the notorious madam of a highly successful, illegal New York City brothel - it is that Xaviera has a refreshing 'the devil may care' take on life.

Although I was a bit repulsed at times, I was also in awe of Xaviera. Because this woman clearly pulled it off: dealing with police raids, blackmailers, nasty boyfriends and a continuous stream of clients with God knows how many fetishes. Her many anecdotes about the men visiting her brothel are often equally gross and hilariously bizarre.

For example: she recalls how one of her clients asked for a bunch of pretty girls to fulfill his lifelong dream, which was getting peed on. Thus she ordered her girls to put their toilet visits on hold for several hours and promised the one who managed to pee the longest a bonus. So the girls totally peed their hearts out, but in the end a small Puerto Rican girl won the bonus. She had produced a tiny trickle for over 56 seconds.

Turns out she suffered from an urinary tract infection...

He he he.

Errr, so yeah..it's up to you to decide whether you think you're missing out on some trashy fun or not.