Just Love Me: My Life Turned Upside-Down by Alzheimer's Book

You could tell this book was not written by a seasoned author, but it was interesting to get an inside perspective on what it's like as a mother raising a disabled child. Wow, I thought parenting was hard period but this book makes it look like a cake-walk; this book shows how impossibly difficult it can get. The most redeeming part for me was how it gave me a window into this mother's head - her thought process, emotional process, throughout raising her son, and it was both relieving and shocking to discover her thought/emotional processes are EXACTLY like mine in terms of parenting. I don't have a disabled child, but the general neurosis that parents (mothers, maybe) tend to feel in this modern day and age, is the very same. It was disturbing in the sense that to witness it as an unattached observer made me realize how absolutely NEUROTIC and diseased that kind of thinking is. My thinking is neurotic and diseased in terms of parental anxiety and that is hard to swallow, yet also a blessing to realize in that it can help me let go and find my path to a healthier way of thinking/being. I did really appreciate her blunt candor in sharing her truly ambivalent emotions - wanting to just "send" her son away for some much needed relief from the intense responsibilities and difficulties of caring for him, while also never wanting him to be taken care of by anyone but herself and incredibly determined to do just that). I too feel such ambivalent feelings about parenting, which I had been too afraid to show as I did not know those feelings were "normal" or that it's not "just me" or that it doesn't mean I am a bad parent. So again, what a relief to know none of that is true! The other best part of this book is when she finally realizes that she for so long had not accepted her son as he is; she was holding on to her expectations of him improving, and constantly comparing him to other children. This a good reminder for all parents that we unconsciously don't accept our children as they are now for a variety of reasons, such as if they are ill we constantly anxiously expecting their wellness to the degree that we miss out on the moments NOW. Accepting NOW as it is does not meet inaction, it simply means being completely present for and with your child, while taking the actions you can to help your child.