Getting Your Share: A Woman's Guide to Successful Divorce Strategies Book

	Introduction: The New Rules of the Game	1
	How the laws are hurting women
	What you can do to protect yourself and your children
	How to get the most out of this book
1	The Right Lawyer for You	7
	How to find, question, and pick an attorney
	Eight kinds of lawyers to avoid
	Should you choose a man or woman?
	The "toughness" factor
	How divorce lawyers feel about women as clients
	What your divorce will cost
	How to make sure you don't overpay
	Your rights as a client
2	Your Husband Is No Longer Your Partner	23
	Overcoming the "Trust Me" Syndrome
	How to protect yourself: what to do about joint accounts, credit cards, safe-deposit boxes
	The dangers of moving out or locking him out
	Should you sleep in the same bedroom?
	How to deal with threats and pressure
3	The Opening Legal Moves	32
	How your lawyer will start a divorce action
	What happens if your husband resists?
	Steps your lawyer can take to get you temporary support, shield you from abuse, keep your husband from hiding the family money
	How to protect yourself if you are having an affair
	Can you hold on to a husband who wants to leave?
	Will your lawyer pressure you to go through with a divorce?
4	Old-Fashioned Detective Work and Space-Age Accounting	44
	What wives don't know about the family money
	The records your lawyer needs and how to get them
	The "discovery" process to uncover hidden assets and income
	What if everything is in his name?
	The surprising property you are entitled to--if you can find it
	The importance of pinning down the value of what you own
	How to get your share of his pension
5	The "Passages" of Divorce	57
	Why your friends' divorces are no guide to your own
	The special needs of and strategies for: The young woman with a brief marriage
	The young mother of pre-school children
	The working woman with school-age children
	The full-time housewife with children still at home
	The woman with grown children who has worked throughout her marriage
	The older homemaker who has not held a paying job during her marriage
6	"Isn't He Going to Pay for What He Did?"	70
	What "no-fault laws" really mean
	Does it matter who ends the marriage and why?
	How to stop being bullied
	The best way to punish an unfaithful husband
	Dealing with his wounded pride when you have found someone else
	How to win a judge's sympathy
7	Negotiating to Get What You Deserve	80
	The unexpected problems that come up in a "reasonable" agreement
	How your lawyer can use leverage to get you what you want
	Ways women undermine their bargaining position
	Your role in the negotiations
	Taking advantage of a husband's blind spots
	When and how to settle
	A sure way to test your doubts about a proposed agreement
8	How to Protect Your Children Psychologically	99
	The problem of "custody blackmail"
	How parents use their children as weapons
	What you can do to prevent a court contest
	The difference between legal custody and where children live
	How judges decide when both parents want custody
	What you must do at a trial
	Will the children have to testify?
	Five questions to answer before you agree to joint custody
	Your husband's and your in-laws' visitation rights
9	How to Protect Your Children Financially	112
	The new state guidelines for child support and what they do
	How to calculate your child-care costs
	Ways to guarantee that he will pay
	The expenses to anticipate and how to provide for them in an agreement
	The best way to prevent future arguments over support and visitation
10	Going to Trial	123
	If your lawyer recommends against a trial, should you get a new lawyer?
	What it takes to change a judge's mind
	A step-by-step guide to preparing for a trial
	How to be your own best witness
	The art of coping with cross-examination
	When your lawyer can denounce your husband
	The judge's decision
	Your lawyer's last-minute chance to gain advantages for you
11	It's Over--Isn't It?	145
	The emotional aftermath of divorce
	A checklist of legal and financial steps to starting your single life
	What to do about managing your money
	Where to get help with the psychological scars of divorce
	How to handle the post-divorce legal problems that come up
	The rewards of making peace with your former husband
12	What Every Happily Married Woman Must Know About Divorce	155
	The lessons of divorce
	How the no-fault laws have changed the marriage contract
	What wives can do to protect themselves without hurting their husbands
	The question of pre-nuptial and post-nuptial contracts
	Changing the laws to give women better protection
Appendix A	The Legal Steps in Divorce	167
Appendix B	State-by-State Laws	173
	Acknowledgments	176
	Index	177