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Introduction-How to Geek It Up Like A G 7
Geek History: It's All Geek to Me 11
Chapter 1 Know Your Geeks 16
Chapter 2 Geek Fashion: Lose the Ponytail, You're Not the Friggin' Highlander 28
Things You Should Never Ever Wear 30
Things You Should Only Sometimes Wear 31
Things You Should Consider Wearing More Often 32
Tips for Keeping Your Geeky Self Groomed 33
Hairstyles: If We Were Hairless, We'd Look Like Big Thumbs 35
Chapter 3 How to Make Friends and Influence Geeks: Tips on Interacting with Other People 42
Reading Body Language: Like ESP, Only Real 46
Top Ten Geeky Social No-Nos 50
How to be Hospitable (Without Being Too Hospitable) 52
Top Five Ways of Making Your Guests Feel Welcome 54
Just Say No: Letting Your Guests Know When It's Time to Get the Hell Out 55
How to Deal With Uncomfortable Situations 56
Top Fifteen Geek Greetings 60
Chapter 4 Geektivities: So You've Got Some Friends. What Now? 64
Multiplayer Games More Inescapably Addictive than the Madness of Cthulhu 66
So Bad They're Good 67
Tabletop Gaming: Rollin' on Twenties 70
Twelve Types of People You'll See at a Dungeons and Dragons Game 72
Chapter 5 Getting to Know Geek Culture, Future and Past 78
We've Changed History: Ten Franchises that Forever Altered the Landscape of Geek Culture 80
Webcomics: Like Regular Comics, Only Webbier 89
The Top 10 Worst Moments in DC and Marvel Comics History 95
The Bizarre Superhero and Supervillain Bazaar 99
Chapter 6 Geekercise: How to Break a Sweat Without Breaking Your Ankle 108
Chapter 7 Geek Tech: Over 9,000 Gadgets You Can Waste Money On 114
Top Ten Home Appliances Most Likely to Kill You Once Machines Become Self-Aware (And How They'll Probably Do It) 116
Top Five Games to Play While Listening to Boring Speeches During Graduation 118
Fifteen Futuristic Inventions We Should Have By Now But Don't 118
Ten of the Goofiest Things Ever Invented 119
Chapter 8 The Internet: Bringing Geeks Together Since Al Gore Built It Out of a Series of Tubes 122
The Internet Commenter Zodiac 127
Choosing a Computer That's Right For You 132
Chapter 9 Education: Becoming the Big Geek on Campus 134
Popular Geeky Majors 137
Ten Ways to Get the Most Out of College Without Getting Expelled Due to Animal House-style Shenanigans 138
Collegiate Secret Societies Secretive Enough to be Cool But Not So Secretive We Don't Know About Them 140
Six Schools You Should Think Twice About 141
Top Three Worst High Schools in the Nation 143
Chapter 10 Geeks in The Workplace 144
The Top Six Greatest Geeky Professions 146
Jobs That Might Seem Like a Perfect Fit For Geeks But Aren't All They're Cracked Up To Be 147
How to Subtly Show Off Your Geekiness at Non-Geeky Jobs 148
Chapter 11 The House Energon Built: Maintaining a Geeky Home 152
Types of Homes and How Well They Fare Against Zombies 154
A Quick and Dirty Zombie Defense Guide 157
Living with Others: How to Get Along and Not Act Like the Cast of The Real World 161
Tips for Proper Roommate Etiquette 161
The Seven Types of Geek Roommates 164
Pets, Our Fuzzy Freeloaders 166
Cleanliness: It's the Latest Thing 170
How to Manage Your Hard-Earned Space Bucks: Geeking Out on a Budget 172
Chapter 12 With Great Geekdom Comes Great Responsibility: Doing Good as a Geek 174
Chapter 13 Geek Cooking: Using Your Bat'leth to Prepare Thanksgiving Dinner 178
Fighting Back Your Dark Hunger: Cooking It Old School 180
Recipes: You've Gotta Do the Cooking by the Book 182
Nutrition: Get You Some! 185
Chapter 14 Boldly Go Where Lots of People Have Gone Before: The Best Places for Geeks to Visit 186
Top Five Geeky Vacation Spots 188
Home is Where the Hulk is: Top Five Conventions Geeks Must Attend 189
The Handy Convention Survival Guide 190
Top Five Sexiest Characters to Cosplay 195
For the Hoard: What to Do With All That Treasure 196
Chapter 15 Geek Girls: The Female is the Deadlier of the Species 198
History of the Geek Girl 200
Geek Guys: How to Not Feel So Weird Around Girls 201
Geek Girls: How to Deal With Those Silly Boys 202
Girl vs. Girl: When the Controllers are Down, the Adamantium Claws Come Out 203
Ladies Who Set a Good Example 205
Fiction's Most Badass Action Chicks 207
Chapter 16 Geek Love: The Fifth Element 212
Ways to Have Fun While Dating and Not Accidentally End Up On a Date With a Person Who is Secretly an Evil Robot or Something 214
Top Five Reasons It's Better to Date Geeks 216
Tips for Dating a Geek 218
Oddball Fetishes Geek Culture has Propagated 219
Throwing a Geeky Bachelor/Bachelorette Party 222
The Top Five Best Geeky Wedding Themes 224
Chapter 17 Raising Them Right: How to Forge Little Geeks Your Own 228
Top Ten Most Popular Baby Geek Names 230
Geek Rites of Passage 231
The Future of Geekdom: Why It's a Good Day to Roll the Die 235
Index 236
About the Author and Illustrator 239
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