What Remains: A Memoir of Fate, Friendship, and Love Book

Carole Radziwell's recounting of the tragic deaths of her husband, Anthony Radziwill, his cousin John Kennedy and wife, Carolyn, all within three weeks of each other. Of course, John and Carolyn went down in that horrific plane crash. Here she reflects on life & death, and fate & fortune, as she recalls her memories of this time with beauty and eloquence. It is her non-linear approach that gives this book its multi-dimensional quality. Like the layers of an onion, the story unfolds itself. I felt immersed in this story; it haunted me.

As she shares her memories with her husband, the agony, the constant stress, the avoidance of reality, the sweet moments between a husband and wife.

One of my favorite moments was when Anthony (who affectionately has given her the nickname of Peanut, or Nut to be short) was going into one of his many treatments for cancer:

"He holds my hand tight. Tighter the closer we get to the big double doors. 'I love you, Nut,' he mumbles. 'I love you more.' He smiles; this is our thing. 'I love you mostly.'
I am determined to be casual, smile, not say good-bye. 'Okay, see you later, Sweetie.' Never good-bye. Then he disappears. The big blue double doors swing shut behind him. It's quick, this whole scene. No lingering, no second or two longer. A brisk walk and swoosh and the doors swinging shut. Then it is completely quiet."

At first reading, I appreciated her ability to detach from her emotions in order to present a factual narrative. But on subsequent readings, these parts seem cold and emotionally detached, contradictory.

Much of this memoir is about her unwillingness to come to terms with what is happening.Carole comes across as being passive and maybe codependent in some ways. They didn't talk very much about his sickness. She just seemed to go along with things without complaint, and without dealing with his cancer. It felt painful to watch, knowing the ending. They both did not want to deal with it--but that is part of their story.

Carole seems to prefer to be at a distance, and to intellectualize her experience because she doesn't feel safe with her emotions. She also shared on The Real Housewives Of New York City reunion that she is just very cold, and rational and that her brain scan revealed that she has a "ginormous" hippocampus.

I think her best writing is in the beginning part, about her childhood in upstate New York. She has a remarkable memory (hence, the hippocampus) and ability to evoke images of that time. This is excellently written, and hard to put down. I also appreciated the memories of the Kennedys. You get a feel for the character of John and Carolyn, and they seemed like truly great and loving people. I look forward to Carole's next memoir.