Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife Book

I was so happy to see that GoodReads allows you to rate something with zero stars! If ever a book merited such treatment, it is this one. This book is so BAD it is unintentionally funny. Very funny. My favorite sentences so far:

"Propitious fortune allowed her to descry whom the crepuscular light yielded."

"The single unseemliness bechanced in her dressing room."

"Whilst still partaking of their meal, Darcy apologised unnecessarily upon the austere winter dressing of his county."

"In the pristine morning light, it was not an inquisition of her configuration he sought (for he had, upon a few occasions long past, perused a womanly portal)."

Believe me, folks, the whole thing reads like this. I am NOT making this up. I was drowning in in a sea of betwixt (82 times) and howbeits (59 times). Many of the sentences are downright be-cramped with broken sentence structure and overwrought language. All things are besoiled, bedewed, begrimed, bechanced. Nothing is ever dewed or grimed or soiled. No one ever sits between two people, it is "indubitably" betwixt.

Even if you can ignore the horrible writing, you will be affronted by the sub-par romantic/erotic plotting and descriptions (womanly portals and nether garments, indeed!).

Thanks to Amazon's "Search Inside" feature. If you want a good laugh, go there for this book and search on the term "nether." The excerpts are exquisite.