So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us Book

I tend to dislike womanish books. Not this one. Beth is humorous and her illustrations hit home. Insecurity has done damage to my energy and intimacy in relationships. What I learned from this book has helped me relax and enjoy myself.

What I learned---

What is insecurity
-self-doubt and uncertainty about my place in the world, -self-consciousness, anxiety, lack of confidence, fear of rejection, unsure of whether my feelings are legitimate.
-self-preoccupation'more aware of self than anyone else in the room

Drawbacks of insecurity
-trying to make things as I want them to be
-trying to make my kids, not just direct them
-Trying to discover about kids what only God was meant to know
-Obsessing over someone's anger.
-Being hurt is almost inevitable because expectations are so high'undue pressure on relationships'making blowout inevitable
arresting loved ones and holding them in emotional jail for punishment rather than investing in them
-disliking the people we love
-looking for value from those we love and putting too much pressure on them
-devaluing myself
-Urge to lie when I don't know something
-fear driven as we are so careful about what we try to project
-Fixating on every self-gain and self-loss
-We will never feel better about ourselves by becoming consumed with ourselves or by feeling worse about others.
-Losing God-given dignity


My insecurity reasons
-Sins & wrongs; not living up to my ideals
-Broken dreams from not living up to my ideals
-Not performing well or having respect of others or influence on others due to not living up to my ideals. Like other people excelling in "my area," saying something stupid to someone I admire, having people not respond well when I pour out my heart. Trying to make amends whenever I think I've done something wrong.
-Not being one of the most gifted people alive.
-In the end, pride because I want everyone, myself included, to respect and admire me.
*No greater burden than my ego. It allows things that break my heart to keep me from healing. I have arrogant expectations beneath my self-contempt.

Believing Truth
-Search for significance. Our need for significance is built in so we will search for the Creator.
-Let truth scream louder than the lies that have infected us.
I need someone who will love me when I hate myself.
-"He knows it's scary to be us."
-Worship is pre-occupation; if we are preoccupied in anger & unforgiveness than we are worshipping the person we are thinking of.
-My loved one is a separate person from me; one who God loves, pursues, and sometimes chastises.

More than talk
-Satan wants us to dig ourselves into a pit of self-hatred by insisting on getting my dignity back when I've been foolish, acting even more foolish, and then vastly more insecure and a failure.
-If we only talk about our problems, we stir the pot we are drowning in and intensify the undercurrent, drawing ourselves further down.
-I can let the healthy whole secure part of me drive my actions, emotions, relationship

*I do not have to act on feelings of insecurity.
-Stop affirming and reaffirming to myself how inferior I am
-Do not give the future the right to intimidate you
-If you are borrowing trouble from the future by worrying, go ahead and borrow the grace to deal with the problem. Imagine all your worst fears coming true and then what would happen on the other side of them. God taking care of me no matter what.
-Expose myself to materials that edify my soul; put down or turn off something that makes lies about myself believable.
-Shift friends that make me feel stupid and small to the B list.
-Can say "Self, get over it." Our culture's great injustice is training us to avoid personal responsibility so we can't come to repentance & restoration.
-Have faith'insecurity is a lack of faith.
Put specific truth in place of insecurities and close self to future onslaught

The truth is
-I am beautiful to God; He is enthralled by my beauty
-I am a treasure to God.
-I am worthy of respect.
-I am clothed with strength and dignity. When I am feeling over-exposed, I can say "I am covered by God."