Responding to the Culture of Bullying and Disrespect: New Perspectives on Collaboration, Compassion, and Responsibility Book

Foreword Honey Berg ix

Acknowledgments xi

About the Authors xiv

Introduction 1

Part I Laying Foundations

1 How Problems Develop: A Frog Story and a Shift in Perspective 8

Lessons From This Story 9

Useful Options Are Also Eliminated 11

Does Everyone Have the Same Contextual Blocks? 12

2 Are Problems of Disrespect Inadvertently Supported? 17

Competition 18

Comparison 20

Rules 21

Achievement at All Cost 23

Evaluation 26

3 Unraveling Assumptions: Educators' Roles and Students' Behaviors 30

The Effects of Myths and Assumptions 30

Common School Questions: New Ways of Thinking 43

4 Responding Effectively to Problems 50

A Fresh Attitude 50

Chipping Away at the Problem With a Powerful Tool: Externalization 53

Dealing Narratively With Disrespect and Bullying 60

A Narrative Response 61

Additional Options 64

Summary of the Practice of Externalizing 65

Common Questions About the Externalization Process 65

5 Being Respectful and Open to Students' Experiences 69

Defining Experience 70

Experience of School 71

Overlapping Experiences of the Problem 76

Addressing These Experience 77

6 Making Changes Last for More Than a Week 83

The Dandelion Problem 83

Thinking Outside the Box 84

Multiple Selves: Who Is The Real Person? 85

Stories 87

Creating Stories Through Language 88

Mentally Filling the Blanks 89

Perspectives Create Stories 91

An Educator's Question: If Truths Don't Exist, How Do We Know Which Story to Trust? 93

Audience: You Are Who You Are Perceived to Be 98

The Thread of New Stories: Recapitulation 99

Reauthoring Alex's Journey 100

Common Teacher Questions: New Ways of Thinking101

Part II Applications And Examples: Success Stories Of Overcoming Bullying And Disrespect

7 Listening to Students' Voices 106

Disrespect/Bullying Survey 106

Interviews: Walking In Students' Shoes 109

8 Cultivating Respect, Appreciation, and Tolerance in the School 116

Connection 117

Appreciation 122

Collaboration 126

Self-Reflection 130

Community and Diversity 131

Respect and Shedding Adultism 135

Teacher Question About Shedding Adultism 144

9 Dealing With Disrespect and Bullying in the Classroom: The Bugging Bug Project 145

A Review of the Narrative Ideas That Guide This Project 146

Section 1 Externalizing the Problem 147

Section 2 Building on Successes 157

Section 3 Celebration of Knowledge and Expertise 172

Brief Summary of Classroom Facilitation Considerations 181

Conclusion 183

10 Working With Individual Students Around Bullying: Helping a Child Suffering From a "Bullying Spell" 185

A Problem-Dominated Identity 185

Rewriting the Story in a Vacuum 186

Rewriting the Story in the Community 188

A Past to the Preferred Story at School 197

A Past to the Preferred Stories at Home 197

Extending the Audience to the Preferred Story 198

Conclusion 200

11 Brain and Behaviors: How Young People Change and How Educators Can Help 201

The Visible Story 201

The Invisible Story 202

The Contextual Story 203

The Historical Story 203

Dead-End or Future Possibilities? 204

The Possible Future 205

Conclusion 210

Part III Prevention: Scaffolding A Complex And Sound Culture Of Respect

12 Creating a Partnership With Response-Able Youth 212

Bubble Trouble 214

Lessons From This Story: The Beliefs 216

The People 218

The Relationship 221

Teacher Questions 228

13 Spotlight on Stories of Successful Prevention 230

Story 1 "You're Ugly" 230

Story 2 The Clipboard 231

Story 3 Sign Language 232

Story 4 The Violent Drawing 233

Story 5 Girls' Meanness 234

Story 6 The Brand New Atlas 234

Spotlight on a School With a Successful Prevention Model 235

Conclusion 253

Resource A Glossary 254

Resource B Summary Table of Strategies 257

Resource C Discourses 260

Resource D "Yes and" Exercise 271

Resource E Educators' Problem-Solving Questions 273

References 274

Index 277