A Pirate's Love Book

If you extremely loved this book, or a die-hard Johanna Lindsey fan, please do not continue.

Welcome, welcome!

Do you honestly think that your life is seriously fucked up?

Then please come on down and take the Bettina Verlaine My-Life-Sucks meter! This is an effective way to measure if you're luckier than the rest or if your life sucks enough that you should contemplate suicide.
Following questions are answerable by yes or no only:
1. Are you unloved by either or both of your parents?
2. Do you have tantrum attacks or temper fits so really worse that your dad had to send you to a convent/seminary?
3. Did your dad arrange your marriage to someone really far away just to get rid of you?
4. Have you traveled by seas and
a. almost been raped by the crew?
b. been abducted by pirates?
c. Been raped by a pirate?
1. Did you enjoy being raped by a pirate?
2. Escaped the pirate, only to cause a pubfight?
3. End up in jail?
4. Rescued from jail by the very pirate who raped you?
5. Have you been stuck in an island and the only way out is to pretend to be a boy?
a. Been forced to be a cabin boy, though you're a girl?
i. Escape being a cabin boy,but end up at the clutches of the man who almost raped you?
6. Have you almost been whipped to death?
7. Does your betrothed have no plans of ever marrying you?
8. Did you end up loving the same pirate who raped you?

If predominant answers are NO, you should be cheery for Bettine Verlaine's life is seriously worse than yours.

If predominant answers are YES, then your life is seriously fucked up, but never fear for Bettina Verlaine survived all these tragedies and I bet you will too.

I, on the other hand, enjoyed Johanna Lindsey's novels once upon a time. I admit, it's written nicely skillfully, however, the book and plot was just awful, awful, awful! *resembling a child with tantrum fits* Despite Bettina Verlaine's life being definitely worse than mine, I definitely thought of hitting my head on the wall with all her misfortunes. On my Bettina Verlaine meter, this book goes straight to the mouth of a volcano. Literally.