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Preface xi
Part 1 My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me
I Am the Fat-assed Girlfriend 3
Part 2 The Foundation Is Cracked
It All Started With a Garbage Pail Kid 19
Truly Tasteless Jokes, or How I Learned about Sex 23
I Know You're in There, Whore! 29
Hey, Baby, Let Me See Your Tattoo! 37
The Case of the Really Tight H.J. 41
He Didn't Even Look at Me Twice 45
Austin Powers, Jr. 47
My Gay Ex-boyfriends 51
Shy Pooper 61
Part 3 Bathing in Tandem AKA My First Adult Relationship
My First Adult Relationship 69
The Coital Laugh 73
Have You Been Fighting in Front of the Cat? 79
A Questionable Poo: The End of Romance 83
Witches Boarding School: My Sexual Fantasy 87
The Saddest Bath 91
My Landing Strip Is Stuck to You 97
Part 4 No More Baths (Well, Maybe a Few More)
This section will tell the stories from my acting out phase.
A Real, Genuine, 100-percent Bona Fide Christmas Miracle 107
Delta Employee Versus A Heartbroken Emotional Eater 111
Coworker Phone Sex 115
What Do You Think of My Boobies? 119
The Pre-famous Dude 125
Lolly's Acne 129
The Accidental Hand Job 131
How a Lean Cuisine Spa Meal Ruined the Perfect Hook-up 137
The "I-Can't-Believe-I-Live-on-the-Beach" Guy 141
The Texas Titty Twister 145
Whore Bath 147
Birthday Bath With a Stranger 151
What's Up With All the Baths? 153
Part 5 Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Things, and One Crazy-ass Mailman
Mom's Cancer, My Dying Cat, and Other Good First Date Topics 157
Gary, My Crazy-ass Horny Mailman 169
You Don't Believe in Love 173
Single People Are Not Welcome at Build-A-Bear 177
Past Life Regression Therapy 179
eRejection: My Foray into Online Dating 191
Part 6 Where Do Broken Vaginas Go? Do They Find Their Way Home?
My Broken Vagina 201
An Un-spiritual Awakening on Parking Level 4 207
The Last Supper, Olive Garden Style 211
Epilogue 219
Acknowledgments 224
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| $99.99 | Digital |
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Add My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn’t Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi Drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers and Ex / Current /, TV writer Hilary Winston offers up a witty collection of autobiographical tales about her misadventures in dating. Just when Hilary feels like her life is finally in order, she gets a sucker-punch to the gut: Her ex has written a novel based on their , My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn’t Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi Drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers and Ex / Current / Future to the inventory that you are selling on WonderClubX
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Add My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn’t Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi Drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers and Ex / Current /, TV writer Hilary Winston offers up a witty collection of autobiographical tales about her misadventures in dating. Just when Hilary feels like her life is finally in order, she gets a sucker-punch to the gut: Her ex has written a novel based on their , My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: And Other Stories I Shouldn’t Share with Acquaintances, Coworkers, Taxi Drivers, Assistants, Job Interviewers, Bikini Waxers and Ex / Current / Future to your collection on WonderClub |