I'm Right, You're Wrong. Now What? Book

While not a huge fan of self-help books, reading a really good one every so often reminds me of what happens when cleaning out a closet or reorganizing a room: I can dispose of outdated junk; bring worthwhile items into a new light and identify needed changes/additions. Closets and rooms deal with physical stuff; self-help books pertain to behaviors patterns.

Anne Katherine offers fresh perspectives on relationships in Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day. As I've been zipping through her book with its numerous examples, hypothetical situations/questions, and guidelines for healthy boundaries, I've seen where I can drop certain self-defeating behaviors, experiment with others and continue to expand and explore my use of those which bring joy to my positive relationships with family and friends.

In the past, when I've thought of a 'boundaries' in human relationships, physical obstacles such fences, walls or other barriers would come to mind. In other words, I saw boundaries as something negative and opposed to open communications. And really who needs any more obstacles? For all of our modern technology there are already too many impediments to mutual human understanding.

But that's not what this book is about. It's about setting reasonable self-limits and knowing others need to do the same, without being able to do that for them, while respecting their needs at the same time.

Ms. Katherine covers all types of boundaries from many different directions: marriage, divorce, family, possessions, holidays, sex, emotions, death, and even the internet. Some of her examples and advice were particularly helpful to me during this reading; other parts I skimmed or skipped altogether as irrelevant now or ever. And yet, even though this book was a loaner, I went ahead and got a copy for my kindle because I fully expect to return to it periodically.

Considering how many technological boundary issues there are today, a book just on those would be extremely beneficial.



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I tend to be a turtle when encountering personalities stronger than my own ... retreating into my shell. However that isn't always possible, helpful or successful. Why are some relationships so easy and enjoyable, you can be yourself, and time spent together is mostly peaceful and happy, whereas other relationships seem to occupy more thought, energy and/or stress and yet remain tense or difficult?