Memoirs of Carlo Goldoni Book

Why I Should Have Read Cecily Before I Wasted My Life Reading "Why You Should Read Kafka Before You Waste Your Life"

OK, I admit it; I judged this book by its cover, seduced by the catchy title - and because I haven't read any Kafka for some 40 years and I keep meaning to return to him.

This bio (for that's what it is - Hawes doesn't ever say what you should not waste your life doing) is written in a breezy present-tense style, an attempt to generate some tension by continually foreshadowing events in Kafka's life, and most irritatingly, calling him "our hero". It claims to show, with lots of italics that K was a happy, well-balanced post-Habsburg lad with a lusty sex life. This is supposedly in direct contrast to everything that has ever been written about Kafka.

This is of course nonsense. I'm sure the fact that Kafka was not necessarily a terminal depressive has been noted (and even if he had been, he would surely have had short periods of cheerfulness, as indicated by photos which prove (prove!) he was not gloomy and haunted all the time).
On p.128 Hawes says with the air of having discovered a fundamental truth,
"Of course this isn't to say that Kafka didn't feel isolated. You can feel horribly alone in a crowded party."
No shit, Sherlock.

'No shit' was my frequent reaction throughout this book. For example, on being told earnestly (p.212) that justice in early 20th century Europe was nothing like our current processes and people really could be arrested for nothing! Yes readers, The Trial and The Castle really can be read as satire!

Then there is K's sex life.
Hawes says, teasingly, on p.8
"... we'll see what two entire generations of scholars have never shown to Kafka's readers ... pictures that, when I first saw them, made me rub my eyes".
Yes, K was obsessed with porn! Hawes must have led a very sheltered life because he devotes many pages to it, even though it is little more than Aubrey Beardsley-style erotica. In any case it would hardly have been exceptional in a time when there were so few other sanctioned outlets for sexual drive. And it turns out on p.58 that "Kafka's porn is no real secret". Sigh.

Apparently some scholars have maintained that Kafka was a virgin so Hawes goes to great lengths to prove otherwise. But it is clear that K was one tortured and mixed-up kid when came to women. (For a way more enjoyable read, see the delightful vignette in 1913: the year before the storm.)

Another argument is one I'm not really familiar with - that Kafka foresaw the fate of the European Jews. Again, this seems like a straw-man argument as many insightful writers could see by the early twenties that once again Jews were going to be blamed for Germany's problems, even if they could not have known the terrible outcome.
I have a feeling that this is perhaps a particularly academic obsession that Hawes is railing against, though he never provides any evidence to back up any of his claims.

OK, on p.130 we get to K's famous letter to his father.
What can you make of this syllogism? K's letter to his father is full of blame concerning barriers to his becoming an artist;
Hitler wrote a similar self-serving essay about his artistic ambitions;
"So if Hitler wrote like that about his father ..." [sic]
... no, no, no! Hawes is not suggesting that Kafka was anything like Hitler! Why would you think that? He just means ... err, I'm not sure what exactly; but he does tell us, again very earnestly, that family life was different back then, and the Father really was the head of the household.
No shit.

So there all these "K-myths", but I am pretty sure most are a figment of Hawes's imagination, and he does a terrible job of demolishing them. And as he imples later in the book, it doesn't matter! There is no question that Kafka must have been a tortured character, it comes across clearly in his writing and letters. Isn't that enough?

So stop it, James, you're being tiresome; go back to your little paddling pool of academia.