Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother Book

As an adoptive mom, this book was exactly what I needed, and I wish I had found it year ago, before we adopted.

The author shares her feelings and fears so honestly, and helps all of us other adoptive moms feel like we aren't the only ones who feel that way. So often we feel like we must be the only people who are worried about loving our adopted children, or if we will feel like a "real" parent, or if adoption really is the best choice, or how to build a connection with a child who doesn't share family traits, etc. I also appreciate the wonderful way she describes the losses of adoption, including adoptive families loss of a dream of biological children, and the adopted child's loss of his or her birth relatives. I wish all adoptive parents could speak more honestly about these feelings, so we would feel less alone.

I applaud the author for her courage in sharing her feelings so honestly, and for doing such a great job capturing them in an entertaining book that's very easy to read.

After reading the book, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. While we were not part of an open, domestic adoption (as the author writes about), so many of the issues are common across all adoption situations. I also really appreciated her discussion of cross-cultural issues and prejudice, and how to deal with people's reactions to a child who doesn't look like one or both parents.

I only wish the adoption agencies I worked with did a better job preparing parents for the adoption journey and helping us get in touch with our feelings about adoption. And I would have loved it if they had encouraged me to read this book as we were starting our adoption journey. It is so different than all other books I've read about adoption. I highly recommend it.

This is one of my new very favorite books.