Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach Book

There is Pollyanna sweetness to this book that drives me up the wall (hence, the 4 star rating). BUT, it is, nonetheless, a wonderful resource for families who have children with behavioral problems. The approach focuses on kids earning points to get privileges, but NOT gold stars that are meaningless. Points are used so that the child becomes responsible for earning all the good things in life through good behavior. It has the best way of imposing consequences that I've ever seen, taking into account the requirements, legal and otherwise, that face a 21st century parent. Finally, this approach is a great way to start when the parents have had difficulty with anger in their own right. Most parents with anger difficulties are frustrated, unskilled, or feel profoundly incompetent to change their miserable situation with their kids, whom they, nonetheless, love. This approach gives the parents a "toolbox" so that they know what to do. They learn to set limits and discipline, and give their kids something up-to-now lacking - real guidance and leadership. Again, the tone can easily make the reader thing that this book is a "liberal," - let the children have their way - type of book, but read on. It is quite the opposite. It offers parents a chance to be really strong, really clear on values, and openly loving at the same time. In particular, this will prove very useful for parents of children who have the justifiably controversial diagnoses of ADHD, Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder - these diagnoses that are all-to-often - adjectives that describe kids who don't conform to others' wishes, in school or home. Before I would ever allowed my child to receive any medication for so-called behavioral disorders, I would definitely use the information in this book - I've used it to work with a number of parents with very beneficial effects.