Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism Book

	Acknowledgements	i
	The Color of a Rose	ii
	Foreword	iii
	Introduction	v
1	Gee, Toto, I Don't Think We Are In Kansas Anymore!	1
	Your hosts, Molly and Philip	2
	About this book	2
	What sadomasochism is	4
	What sadomasochism is not	6
	Scenespeak, learning the lingo	7
	Scene	8
	Playing	9
	Player	9
	Sadomasochism	9
	Dominance and submission	9
	Bondage and discipline	9
	The who's who of SM	10
	Masochist	10
	Dominant	11
	Submissive	11
	Natural submissives and dominants	12
	Tops and bottoms	13
	Switch	13
	Professional female dominants	15
	Fetishist	15
	Sub-Chapter XY - Gender and sexual orientation	15
	Pronoun, pronoun, who's got the pronoun?	16
	The gay SM scene	16
	Simple starts, safe starts	16
2	Sexual Magic Why We Do Do That Voodoo	18
	Trust and communication	24
	Talking	24
	Learning the body you want to bludgeon	26
	The mind as an erogenous zone	27
	Anticipation	27
	Conditioning -- Three ways to Skinner a pussy	28
	Visualization -- Scheherazade goes dom	29
	Sensory relocation	31
	Dominance and submission	31
3	The Politics of Very Strange Bedfellows Sensible SM Relationships and Dangerous Liaisons	34
	Steering your love-boat into the rapids	34
	With 31 flavors available, why serve only vanilla?	36
	Catching a live one	37
	The Law of supply and demand	38
	What to look for	40
	Looking for Mr. Good-dom	40
	Seeking suitable submissives	41
	The hunt	42
	Organizations & support groups	42
	Public clubs	42
	Magazine and newspaper ads	43
	Kink goes electronic	43
	Would-bes, Wannabes, and other forgettable characters	45
	The downside of the subside	47
	Safety suggestions for meeting through ads or BBS's	48
	Mistress Manners	49
4	"You Want To Worship My What???" Negotiation and Relationships	51
	Compatibility	52
	The Ideal Dominant	53
	The Ideal Submissive	54
	Negotiating sex in SM	55
	Levels of dominant and submissive power exchange	56
Level 1	Conditional Compliance	57
Level 2	Restricted Ongoing Acquiescence	57
Level 3	Provisional Submission	58
Level 4	The Covenant of Dominance and Submission	58
Level 5	Absolute Ownership	59
	Ownership and Lifestylers	59
	The three biggest lies	61
	Abusive relationships	62
	Limits - The lines never to be crossed	63
	Safe words	64
	Contracts and agreements	65
	Sample contract of submission	66
	Negotiation Questionnaire	66
5	Straight Facts and Bent Phalluses Sexual Attitudes	69
	No goals, no roles	71
	Philip's Tree House: !!!No Girls Allowed!!!	71
	A word about approach	73
	Sign language	73
	Rediscovering the joys of the flesh	74
	Molly's notes from the quilting bee	75
	Busting barriers	77
6	Non-Government Sanctioned Sex and Torture	78
	Clips, clamps, and clothespins	78
	Fire and ice	80
	Electro-torture	81
	The cutting edge	82
	Anal play, general considerations	83
	Anal sex	84
	Anal training and object stimulation	85
	Self-training for anal play	86
	Enemas	86
	Feeding the pussy syntho-meat	88
	Fisting	89
	Forced sex (never say never)	90
	Smoke and Mirrors	90
7	Get Them By the Balls; Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow Bondage Theory	93
	First, you need a plan	95
	Bondage safety	95
	Ten rules to be bound by	96
	Anatomy for safer bondage	99
	Emergency quick release	100
	Novice bondage	101
	The first session	101
	The second session	103
	The tournament of wills	104
	The third and all the rest of your sessions	106
8	Of Humane Bondage Bondage Techniques	107
	Bonds that tie	107
	Finishing the rope	108
	Knots	109
	Releasing your victim	112
	A simple wrist bondage	113
	Crossed ankle bondage	114
	Breast bondage	115
	Oriental rope dress	116
	Hints	119
	Variations	119
	Rope alternatives	119
	Plastic wrap bondage	120
	Wrist and ankle cuffs	121
	Bondage harness and collars	123
	Blindfolds	123
	Gags	124
	A cloth gaggage primer	126
	Hoods and sensory deprivation	128
	Spandex	128
	Specialty items	129
	Simple solutions for attachments	130
9	Philip's Philosophy of Phlogging Phun The Corporal Dimension	132
	Environment	132
	Beginning a session	133
	Positioning	134
	Bondage and Whipping	135
	Beginning	136
	Ending a scene	137
	Kneeling before the lash	137
	Philip's ten commandments of flagellation	138
I.	Thou shalt never strike thine submissive in anger	139
II.	Thou shalt not damage thine sub. Knoweth the difference between hurt and harm	139
	Marking	140
	Reading the submissives's butt after a scene - a chart	141
III.	Thine sub and thee shalt negotiate thoroughly and each shall respecteth the limits of the other	142
IV.	Learneth well the anatomy of thine targets	142
V.	Thou shalt abide by SM safety rules and practices	143
VI.	Knoweth intimately the feel, range, and effect of each of thine implements of destruction. It is better for all to receive before one gives	143
	How does it feel?	143
	Orchestrating your percussion	144
VII.	Thou shalt develop proper stance and technique	145
VIII.	Seeketh an expert's advice, training, and counsel for the weapons you would master	145
IX.	Thou shalt Practice! Practice! Practice! and use upon a fanny only those toys with which thou art an expert	145
X.	Never stop watching! Focus is next to godliness	145
10	When the Inner Child Deserves a Spanking Philip's (and Phriend's) Phurther Pheelings on Phlogging	146
	Preparing the skin for a beating	146
	Where to hit - a chart	148
	The warm up	150
	Warming up for a heavy scene	150
	Spanking	151
	Paddling	152
	Face slapping	153
	Caning and cropping	153
	Flogging	154
	Cat-anatomy	154
	Flogger or cat?	155
	How to practice whipping	155
	Let this be a lesson to ya: A tutorial on using the cat-style whip, or flogger	156
	Stance	156
	The strokes	156
	Forehand overhead stroke	157
	Backhand overhead stroke	160
	Figure-eight Stroke	160
	Tips and traps	160
	The single-lash whip	162
	Bullwhips are not only at home on the range	162
11	It's Only Pain, Dear, and It's Only Yours Why Take A Long Road To Enlightenment, When You Can Haul Ass On A Super Highway?	168
	Flying: "ground control to Master Tom"	171
	The maiden voyage of rocket Molly	176
	Endorphin highs and other vacation spots	177
	Reprise; tops, bottoms and switches	181
	"Ouch... Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" Experiencing pain as pleasure	181
12	Making the Upper Cheeks Red Embarrassment, Humiliation and the Mind Fuck	184
	Politically incorrect but emotionally valid	190
	Verbal abuse	191
	Humiliation	191
	Mindfuck, not mental rape	193
	Exhibitionism	194
	Public play	194
	Dressing	195
	Sexual denial, the ultimate weapon	197
	Emotional growth through SM	199
	Has anyone seen my self-esteem? - A search for myself	199
13	Furnishing Your Dungeon	201
	Where to play while the castle is being repainted	201
	Life with children	202
	Hanging slaves and other decorative touches	203
	Recycling Aunt Sophie's ottoman, or, why buy a rack with a perfectly good workbench in the basement?	204
	A dungeon tour	204
	Just for the dungeon	210
	The torture group	212
	The bondage group	213
	The sex-toy group	214
	The hitting group	215
	Where to get your goodies	218
	Found objects	219
	Traveling with toys	220
	Making your own toys	221
	Leather tips	221
	Designs	221
	Glossary	226
Appendix A	SM Support Groups and Organizations	241
Appendix B	Stores, Suppliers, and Artisans	252
Appendix C	Computer Bulletin Boards	268
Appendix D	SM and Fetish Magazines	269
Appendix E	Recommended Reading	271
Appendix F	NLA Statement On Domestic Violence	273
	Index	274