War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles Book

Just five pages into War of Words, Paul Tripp makes this astonishing claim: "God has a wonderful plan for our words" (5). Modern evangelicalism is quick to talk about God's plan-and God's plans-so this statement doesn't sound overtly different, provocative, or perhaps even book-worthy. In fact, seminaries, churches, and parachurches have made so-called Christian counseling all the rage, so another book on godly communication should fit right into the local Christian bookstore.

Tripp's initial argument doesn't sound provocative on its face. However, it's the following supplemental points that Tripp makes on page 5 that stir a deeper thinking:
• Sin has radically altered our agenda for our words […:]
• In Christ Jesus we find the grace that provides all we need […:]
• The Bible plainly and simply teaches us how to get from where we are to where God wants us to be.

Tripp's argument continues: if the solution for sin is Jesus Christ and His reconciling death, then the solution for sinful communication must be a return to Jesus Christ, not a system or set of best practices. "[Tripp is:] convinced that we do not understand how radically the gospel can change the way we understand and solve our communication problems" (5). Sin, the Bible would teach, affects the whole man. Further, as Jesus Himself says, what comes out of a man simply bears witness to what is inside that man (Mat. 15:17-20).

Communication, then, reflects our sinful hearts. Consequently, an outward approach to improving communication-writing out your thoughts before voicing them, counting to ten internally, asking questions rather than making demands-is at best an attempt to restrain the effect of sin. But does this in fact deal with the actual sin producing the poor communication? Does this outward restraint do anything other than layer a sinful heart with external moralistic behavior? No.

A Biblical approach to dealing with words must actually look past words. The Bible and Tripp's book demand a return to the Gospel in all its power. A Christian who seeks to "improve" their communication is in fact denying a sin problem. Sin cannot be lessened in some continuous, long-term, quantifiable manner. It can be warred against, and repented of, and forgiven; in fact, this is the Christian gospel.

Tripp sums up the Biblical approach to relationships and communication on page 160: "We all need a redemptive perspective on our relationships." The purpose of communication, then, is not to get a message across. It is not to make yourself heard, nor is it to achieve happiness, mutual understanding, or agreement on a controversial issue. The purpose of communication-and in fact, the message of the Gospel-is redemption.

God's mission through Jesus was and is to rescue sinful man. In 2 Cor. 5:17-20, all Christians are called to reconcile, and to be agents of God. Our chief end must necessarily be rescue and reconciliation. Further, it is the message of reconciliation we are entrusted with. A message is ultimately a collection of words. How does a Christian win the war of words? They seek to reconcile others to God through Jesus Christ. Ultimately, this end has little to do with winning for the individual at all.