How humans relate Book

This was exactly what I needed this year, and this month. I'm drawn to service (equally?) by guilt and compassion, and it can be an overwhelming combination, and the former often gets in the way of the latter, but in a way I find hard to articulate. This book gets it. I'm a huge fan of Ram Dass, though I wasn't a huge fan of Be Here Now, particularly the format, which was too weird and hard to read and reminded me some of the bullshit hippy-dippy stuff I grew up around, although the narrative and message were aligned with what I believe to be true and important.

This book is far more accessible to, and clearly crafted for, the general public. The influence of Eastern religion is easy to find, but you don't have to buy into any of it to benefit from the stories and ideas here. And it's chock full of stories - heartbreaking and heartwarming and sad and funny and enlightening stories gathered from people of many different faiths and non-faiths, performing all kinds of service. I think it pretty clearly demonstrates how your own insecurities, agenda, ego, ambitions, and fears can get in the way of helping others, even to the point that if you're not open to change, you might be better off not helping at all.

A lot of folks take issue with, even mock, the idea that you can best serve the world by working on yourself. I understand the disdain, and I think some spiritual seekers get so lost in or attached to (ahem) the soul searching that they never get beyond it and have very little positive impact in the world. But I think How Can I Help does show the harm that can be done if you approach service as a duty or an endowment rather than a shared experience among different manifestations of the same complex life form, the same consciousness. If we are all actually one, then there's no such thing as helping someone else, someone Other. We're always caring for ourselves. It's difficult to fully get to that point, but it seems wise, if we are going out in the world, to carry that awareness of our interconnectedness, and a boatload of humility and respect for the integrity of the people we reach out to.

As I said, I am feeling a lot of confusion and fatigue in my own desire to help these days, and this allowed me some breathing room and perspective that has helped.