Funerals with Today's Families in Mind: A Handbook for Pastors Book

Preface

Introduction 3

Part 1 Preparation for the funeral or memorial service

1 Meeting with the bereaved to gather family information 7

2 Decisions at the funeral home 12

3 The family at the service 23

4 Caring for the immediate family 33

5 The wake, viewing, or visitation time 34

6 Family's involvement in the service 37

Part 2 On the day of the service

7 Setting the scene: before the service 43

8 The family enters the sanctuary 47

9 The importance of the pastor's words 48

10 To commune or not to commune 56

11 Choices regarding music 57

12 Reactions at the service 58

13 Options for exits 61

14 At the final resting place 62

15 A dinner or reception following the service 66

Part 3 Special circumstances

16 Funerals of gay or lesbian persons 69

17 Funerals of people you have not met 71

18 Funerals for elderly people 75

19 Funerals for those with premature deaths 77

20 Funerals for military persons 84

21 Funerals in which the deceased and the family are of different faiths 88

22 Funerals in which some are challenged 89

23 Funerals when the spouse is estranged or divorced 91

24 Funerals for a person who has done wrong 92

25 Funerals outside your church building 94

26 Officiating at the funeral of a close family member 99

27 Relating to organizations that honor their deceased 103

Part 4 Funeral sermons

28 Sermon samples and ideas 107

Part 5 Funeral resources at your church

29 Benefits and potential problems of a memorial garden 115

30 Preparing a resource booklet on death and dying with church members 123

Conclusion 128

Appendix Recommended scripture readings 129

Scripture index 133

General index 135