Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child - Holly Van Guilden - Hardcover Book

Required reading for adoptive families, those considering adoption or professionals in the field. This practical, informative book: Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb covers many topics of vital importance to adoptive parents with sensitivity and insight. The authors bring years of experience to the complex emotional issues that parents will negotiate, and expert advice on establishing a healthy, loving parent-child relationship.

I do not recommend this book, only read this one if it is a requirement from your adoption agency.

This book was on a list of books our agency recommended reading. By the time I got to it I had read many adoption books. This seemed to be repeating what all the other ones had said and the writing didn’t keep my attention as the others did. I really struggled getting through this book. It does have good basic information on adoption or how to parent the adopted child. While I was reading this I was constantly checking my phone hoping for a message from our birth mother as she was having contractions, I have been struggling with this part of the process. The waiting and then I read this page:

“A pregnant woman can do many things to help ensure everything goes well with the pregnancy, including taking care of her health through diet, rest, exercise, and regular doctor visits. Both she and her partner can experience the reality and inevitability of the baby-to-be every time it kicks, makes her nauseous, or causes her body to change. Expectant adoptive parents, however, often feel at the will of agencies, courts, governments, and birth parents, not only for information and reassurances that all is moving along well, but also for ultimate “permission” to have a child…”

It goes on to share other feelings I am going through as an adoptive parent. It encouraged me a lot to know I am not the only one that feels this way. It is much harder to wait when you can’t feel the baby and you at the will of other people’s decisions.

I rate this book a 3 out of 4 stars.