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Acknowledgments | xi | |
Foreword | xv | |
Preface | xix | |
Introduction: Jewish Insights on Death | 3 | |
Part 1 | Answers | 21 |
1. | What I Have Learned from Illness | 23 |
To Wake Up in the Hospital Early in the Morning | 24 | |
Coronary Connections: From a Hospital, Some Secrets of the Heart Revealed | 24 | |
A Wake-up Call | 33 | |
In Praise of Denial | 35 | |
A Small Miracle Happened Here | 37 | |
Charlie and the Angel of Death | 40 | |
2. | When Death Arrives | 48 |
Like Removing a Hair from Milk | 49 | |
Rabbi Salanter's Last Night | 49 | |
Prelude | 50 | |
The Power of Music at the End | 51 | |
Should We Tell the Patient the Truth? | 57 | |
Let Them Know What You Want | 59 | |
The Traditional Vidui | 61 | |
Kayla's Prayer | 62 | |
Saying Goodbye | 68 | |
Letting Go | 73 | |
A Prayer for Health-Care Providers to Offer When a Patient Dies | 78 | |
3. | Hevra Kadisha: The Holy Society | 81 |
A Sacred Duty | 82 | |
The Burial Society | 83 | |
How Tradition Brought One Community to Life | 92 | |
Bubby's Last Gift | 101 | |
4. | The Burial | 108 |
What Rabban Gamliel Did | 108 | |
The Funeral of Franz Josef | 109 | |
Suggestions to Those Who Plan My Funeral | 110 | |
A Rabbi's Ethical Will | 113 | |
No Burden Too Heavy | 118 | |
Keri'ah: The Tearing of the Garment | 121 | |
Why Bury? | 124 | |
How We Bury | 126 | |
Why No Viewing | 127 | |
Why in Tachrichim? | 127 | |
Why Stones Instead of Flowers? | 128 | |
Ha-Makom Yenahem: The Place Gives Comfort | 130 | |
5. | Shivah | 141 |
The First Meal | 142 | |
The Therapeutic Function of Shivah | 142 | |
Who's the Host? Who's the Guest? | 151 | |
The Art of Making a Shivah Call | 152 | |
The Shivah Minyan | 157 | |
Covering Mirrors | 161 | |
Why Psalm 49? | 161 | |
Knitting Up the Tear | 163 | |
6. | Kaddish | 168 |
When Death Comes | 168 | |
A Commentary on the Kaddish | 169 | |
Going to Shul | 172 | |
A Year of Grieving, A Year of Growing | 174 | |
Saying Kaddish: The Making of a "Regular," | 177 | |
7. | The Year and After | 183 |
The Law Sets the Limits | 184 | |
The Five Stages of Grief | 184 | |
Shloshim: The First Thirty Days After Burial | 186 | |
A Way to Mark Shloshim | 191 | |
Yizkor: The Unending Conversation | 194 | |
I Am Older Now: A Yahrzeit Candle Lit at Home | 198 | |
After the Year, What? | 200 | |
Diary of a Young Widow: A Work in Progress | 207 | |
In Many Houses | 219 | |
Name | 220 | |
Part 2 | Questions | 221 |
8. | Is Euthanasia Permitted? | 223 |
Laws Concerning One in a Dying Condition | 224 | |
Rabbi Yehudah's Handmaiden | 224 | |
The Maggid Rediscovers Music | 225 | |
I Want a Choice | 225 | |
Final Entrance | 229 | |
Long-Term Dignity | 233 | |
On Choosing the Hour of Our Death | 237 | |
Death with Dignity vs. Euthanasia | 244 | |
Not Through Yet | 257 | |
9. | How Shall We Mourn the Stillborn? | 260 |
A Yizkor Prayer for Stillborn and Infant Deaths | 261 | |
I Lost a Child But Did Not Mourn Her | 262 | |
Neonatal Death | 265 | |
Baby Brother's Gone to Heaven | 268 | |
Three Responses to Miscarriage | 271 | |
Faith Learns to Fill a Need | 277 | |
10. | How Does One Survive the Loss of Children? | 280 |
The Story of Rabbi Meir and Beruriah | 283 | |
Plutarch to His Wife After the Loss of Their Child | 284 | |
Not on Merit, But on Mazal | 284 | |
We Will Get Better, We Must Get Better | 285 | |
On Being the Kaddish | 297 | |
Firepower in Mitzvot | 304 | |
11. | Do We Believe in an Afterlife? | 309 |
In the World-to-Come | 311 | |
The Birth | 311 | |
The Ship | 313 | |
Is There Life After Death? | 313 | |
Permission to Believe | 328 | |
The Here and the Hereafter | 335 | |
The Fate of the Soul | 338 | |
Love As Strong As Death | 348 | |
Where Does It End? | 352 | |
12. | What Do We Need Death For? | 354 |
Contributors | 361 | |
Permissions Acknowledgments | 369 |
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