Dr. Ruth's Guide to Teens & Sex Today: From Social Networking to Friends with Benefits Book

Acknowledgments

Introduction 1

1 The Basics 3

Parents Must Be Sexually Literate 4

Your Homework Assignment 4

Your Behavior Counts 5

Fighting Peer Pressure 6

Fear Doesn't Work Either 7

Ducking the Issue 8

An Alternate Model 9

The Wisdom of the Ages 10

A Word About Privacy 10

Improving Your Own Sex Life 12

Teamwork 13

Girls and Boys 14

For Boys 14

For Girls 15

2 Your Child's Changing Body 16

Secondary Sexual Characteristics 16

Precocious Puberty 17

Raging Hormones 17

Timing 18

Dealing with a Child of the Opposite Sex 19

Nocturnal Emissions 19

Menarche 20

Fathers and Daughters 21

Confusion Reigns 22

For Boys 23

For Girls 24

3 Talking About the Birds and the Bees 25

When the Subject Gets More Personal 27

The School Yard 28

The Talk 29

Oral and Anal Sex 30

STDs 32

Setting Standards 34

Sex Ed Classes 35

The Moral Message 36

Homosexuality 38

For Parents of Younger Children 39

Nudity 40

Inappropriate Touching 41

Language 42

Interfering Relatives 43

Siblings 43

Friends 44

Protecting Children from Sexual Predators 45

For Boys 47

For Girls 47

4 Counteracting Peer Pressure 49

How to Counter Peer Pressure Successfully 53

The Plan 53

Curfews 54

Positive Reinforcement 55

Family as Team 55

The Wrong Kind of Friends 56

Controlling Sexual Behavior 59

An Infinite Memory 60

Admit Your Mistakes 63

Keep Your Past to Yourself 65

With Regard to the Future 67

Sex Bracelets 67

Maintaining Vigilance 68

Hip-Hop 69

Madison Avenue 70

Clothing 70

A Hard Job 72

For Girls 72

For Boys 73

5 Computers and Social Networking 74

Sidebar: Sexual Predators 77

It's Not Just SexualPredators 79

Vulnerable Teens 80

Join a Social Network 81

Invading Their Privacy 83

I Heard the News Today, Oh Boy 86

Cyberbullying 87

A Word About Schools 89

Starting Early 89

For Boys 90

For Girls 91

6 Computers and Sex 92

What's Available 93

You're the Expert 96

What to Say 96

Body Image 97

Blocking the Negative Effect 101

Software 101

Kids Don't Need a Computer 104

Replacement Porn and Erotica 105

The Dreaded Return from College 107

For Girls 107

For Boys 108

7 When Your Teen Starts Dating 109

Sticking with the Pack 110

A Lack of Friends 111

Benefits of Counseling 111

Dating 112

Friends with Benefits 113

Everybody's Doing It 115

Using the Media to Your Advantage 116

The Prom 116

When You Know Your Teen is Sexually Active 118

When is a Teen Ready? 119

I Hate Him/Her 122

Getting Professional Help 124

Bringing in an Arbitrator 125

The Value of Patience 126

But She's Only Thirteen! 126

Latch-Key Teens 127

For Girls 128

For Boys 129

8 If Your Child is Gay 130

Easier Said Than Done 134

Coming Out 135

For Boys 136

For Girls 136

Conclusion 138

Appendix A MySpace Contract 141

Appendix B Web Resources 145

About the Authors 148