The World in Miniature: Container Gardens and Dwellings in Far Eastern Religious Thought Book

Gary Chapman is an excellent teacher. His books are always succinct, and educative. This book is relevant for building a successful marriage, and both married and singles will find it relevant.

Everything Chapman wrote here is helpful. Marriage, as they say, is an education. So for that, every married person must continually educate himself with relevant information. This is where books like this come in.

The problem of marriage is the increasing number of divorces. Chapman pointed out that the problem of divorce exists both in Christian and non-Christian marriage.

The solution in Chapman's view can be found in the Bible. He lavishly used Biblical verses and stories to make his point.

Apparently, divorce is more rampant in the West than in Africa. Therefore, I will say with all humility that the West has something to learn from Africa. I say this not because marriages in Africa are more beautiful or couples do not divorce, but because in Africa, marriage is more than a union of two people as is the case in the West. Marriage here is instead a union of families. When a man marries a woman, the man becomes part of her family and likewise, she's yours. This intermix of families helps checkmate the partner's excesses (or 'stupidity') and steps in during a crisis. I am answerable to my mother-in-law, and father-in-law, as I am to my biological mother and father. Divorcing a partner is like splitting with one's family. We don't have use for paid marriage counsellors; the couple's parents, uncles, and kith and kin are the counsellors.

The other thing I sense is that most people go into marriage to 'enjoy it'. Yes, marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. But most people have a poor perception of 'enjoyment'. In marriage, enjoyment comes during the time of harvesting and not during the period of planting. And in marriage, it's planting that we are called to do -- or at least, ought to do. There's no ready-made peaceful or good marriage. It's something you invest and plant daily. Which means you don't go into marriage enjoying or reaping, but planting seeds of peace, love, and understanding. I believe if couples are less selfish and more sacrificial, many marital problems are solved.