Journey to the centre of the earth Book

Why does Jules Verne often remind me of Monty Python? I mean, it's not funny or anything. Perhaps I was struck by the fact that Robur-le-conquérant doesn't just feature a flying machine called the Albatross, but also gives you a precise figure for the speed of a swallow. Anyway, with further apologies:



Me: I wish to register a complaint about this novel, which I purchased not 45 years ago in this very boutique.

John Cleese: Oh yeah? What's wrong wiv it?

Me: The title is A Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Cleese: And?

Me: Well, they never get to the center of the Earth.

Cleese: They almost do.

Me: They don't.

Cleese: They get more than halfway there.

Me: Excuse me, what is the radius of the Earth?

Cleese: Well guv, couldn't say offhand...

Me: I'll tell you what it is. It's 6,378 kilometers.

Cleese: Could be.

Me: And do you know how far down they get?

Cleese: I'd have to look that up...

Me: Their maximum depth is about 320 kilometers.

Cleese: I don't see your point.

Me: They get about 4.7% of the way there.

Cleese: Look guv, there's dinosaurs...

Me: My good man, I don't care how many dinosaurs there are! The story simply doesn't correspond to the title, that's all. Here, let me give you an example. Take this DVD, Anal Gangbang Slut 8. If the only thing that happened was that the woman removed her gloves, would you say I'd got my money's worth?

Cleese: She takes her shoes off as well.

Me: She does?

Cleese: Yeah.

Me: Can I swap?

Cleese: If you like guv. No skin off my nose.

Me: Done.

[Huge animated foot comes down and squashes both actors. Silly music, followed by announcer's voice]

Announcer: And now for something completely different. The All-England Summarising Proust Competition.

Contestant: Proust in his first book, talked about, talked about...