Bill The Goat's Adult Refresher Guide To Writing Book

Preface     v
Begin Here     1
Three categories
Write for Bill
Problems
Purpose
Adulthood
Think structurally
Respect
Tool kit
Bill isn't you
You are in charge
Get some sleep
Being normal
Pay attention
An alternative
Speed limits
The magic trick
Spectrum of possibilities
The dreaded five-paragraph essay
On beyond simple
Stepping off the path
Bending rules
Moo
Photographs
4'2"
Because he was Faulkner
E.I.
Follow These Principles     19
Don't block the tube
Prepare for Inspection
Be like Michelangelo
Fill the hole
Make sure it's the right size
Deal with the monster in your room
Know what your most important point is
Don't be coy
Don't frustrate Bill
Make your course clear in advance
Say it once
Get the level of importance right
Know the difference between writing time and your time
Anticipate reactions
Don't mountain-top
Know what the deal-breakers are
Understand the medium
Ask, How's it going to look in print?
Don't think like a midshipman
Be clear in your reference
Avoid cliches
Don't ballpark
Don't make statements that won't pass muster
Stage public executions
Showcase your best muscles
Don't overdrive your headlights
Feed Baby Bill
Don't get too attached to your own words
Revise
Revise again
Run a perimeter
Your Own Private Grammar Friday
A: Why Study Grammar?     47
Grammar is scary
What is grammar?
Prescriptive and descriptive grammar
In the pool
To willfully split
B: Bill's Brand ofGrammar     54
The topic
Setting things up
Topic sentences and openers
Maintaining a consistent speed
Paragraphs
Sentences
Long and short sentences
Compound predicates or sentences
Completing patterns
Punctuation
Clusters
Commas
Commas in lists
Corrdinate and noncoordinate adjectives
Restrictive and non-restrictive appositives and clauses
"That" and "which"
Comma splices
Semi-colons
Colons
Hyphens
Conjunctions
Word order
Reference
Superman
Awk
Parallelism
Verb tenses
Tense switches
Indirect discourse
"If" clauses
Double conditional
Mistakes are made
Word usage
Langue/parole
Foregrounding meaning
Metaphors
Iced drink
D problems
Nobody's perfect
Correcting Your Own Course     103
Student papers
Newspaper article
How to Read     123
Strawberry preserves
New ways of seeing
Gizmos
Two kinds of not understanding
Guidance
Notice things
The blind man
Touch
Mickey's three fingers
The Martians came
Descartes' razor
Forks
Reading Shakespeare
Index     143
About the Author     145