Jingo (Discworld Series) Book

'Why are our people going out there?' said Mr Boggis of the Thieves' Guild.
'Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and . . . additional wealth in a new land,' said Lord Vetinari.
'What's in it for the Klatchians?' said Lord Downey.
'Oh, they've gone out there because they are a bunch of unprincipled opportunists always ready to grab something for nothing,' said Lord Vetinari.

'Wazir comes from Smale, you see,' said Carrot. 'And Mr Goriff comes from Elharib, and the two
countries only stopped fighting ten years ago. Religious differences.'
'Ran out of weapons?' said Vimes.
'Ran out of rocks, sir. They ran out of weapons last century.'
Vimes shook his head. 'That always chews me up,' he said. 'People killing one another just because their gods have squabbled-'
'Oh, they've got the same god, sir. Apparently it's over a word in their holy book, sir. The Elharibians say it translates as "god" and the Smalies say it's "man".'
'How can you mix them up?'
'Well, there's only one tiny dot difference in the script, you see. And some people reckon it's only a bit of fly dirt in any case.'
'Centuries of war because a fly crapped in the wrong place?'
'It could have been worse,' said Carrot. 'If it had been slightly to the left the word would have been 'liquorice'.'

On consideration, I would say "Jingo" is my 2nd favourite book of the Ankh-Morportk City Watch series (right after Night Watch and my 3rd favourite in the complete Discworld series (after Night Watch and Hogfather).

It was due to this book I decided that I want Sir Samuel Vimes as my literary husband (I am truly sorry, Mr Darcy, but you just have to move on. In any case, you have Lizzy Bennet and the adoration of the rest of the world to console you and yes, we can still be friends.) and my (secret) crush for Vetinari started.

And if I were an educational authority preferably with international competence, I would make all the politicians of the world read it and discuss it in class and write essays about it and if they scored higher than C+, then and only then would I allow them to hold office of any kind. But it is wishful thinking as well as longing for more Vetinaris and Sam Vimeses in the world.

In "Jingo" Terry Pratchett is actually waging a bitter and deeply sad one-man war against nationalism, racism, religious fundamentalism, territorialism and all kinds of nasty-ISMS invented by men and he does it the way he knows best: by making you laugh out loud and think! And there is no better way to do it, in my book anyway.