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Author's Note ix
Foreword Augusten Burroughs xi
Prologue 1
A Little Misfit 7
A Permanent Playmate 19
Empathy 29
A Trickster Is Born 35
I Find a Porsche 43
The Nightmare Years 51
Assembly Required 59
The Dogs Begin to Fear Me 69
I Drop Out of High School 85
Collecting the Trash 95
The Flaming Washtub 101
I'm in Prison with the Band 113
The Big Time 125
The First Smoking Guitar 133
The Ferry to Detroit 143
One with the Machine 151
Rock and Roll All Night 155
A Real Job 171
A Visit from Management 181
Logic vs. Small Talk 189
Being Young Executives 195
Becoming Normal 207
I Get a Bear Cub 219
A Diagnosis at Forty 233
Montagoonians 241
Units One Through Three 247
Married Life 253
Winning at Basketball 259
My Life as a Train 265
Epilogue 273
Acknowledgments 283
Reading and Resources 285
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