Paths to Success: Beating the Odds in American Society Book

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... this "we will succeed" attitude leads to staff burnout, high turnover, and a weaker team than the one you started with... (c)
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People who believe they can succeed see opportunities where others see threats. (c)
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Successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others. (c)
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We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don't spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don't need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop. (c)
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Treat every piece of advice as a gift or a compliment and simply say, "Thank you." (c)
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Try this: For one week treat every idea that comes your way from another person with complete neutrality. Think of yourself as a human Switzerland. Don't take sides. Don't express an opinion. Don't judge the comment. If you find yourself constitutionally incapable of just saying "Thank you," make it an innocuous, "Thanks, I hadn't considered that." Or, "Thanks. You've given me something to think about. (c)
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Successful people never drink from a glass that's half empty. (c)
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If you want to change anything about yourself, the best time to start is now. Ask yourself, "What am I willing to change now?" Just do that. That's more than enough. For now. (c)
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All other things being equal, your people skills (or lack of them) become more pronounced the higher up you go. In fact, even when all other things are not equal, your people skills often make the difference in how high you go. (c)
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But for some reason, many people enjoy living in the past, especially if going back there lets them blame someone else for anything that's gone wrong in their lives. That's when clinging to the past becomes an interpersonal problem. We use the past as a weapon against others. (c)
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Warren Buffett advised that before you take any morally questionable action, you should ask yourself if you would want your mother to read about it in the newspaper. (c)
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When you start a sentence with "no," "but," "however," or any variation thereof, no matter how friendly your tone or how many cute mollifying phrases you throw in to acknowledge the other person's feelings, the message to the other person is You are wrong. (c)
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cognitive dissonance. It refers to the disconnect between what we believe in our minds and what we experience or see in reality. The underlying theory is simple. The more we are committed to believing that something is true, the less likely we are to believe that its opposite is true, even in the face of clear evidence that shows we are wrong. For example, if you believe your colleague Bill is a jerk, you will filter Bill's actions through that belief. No matter what Bill does, you'll see it through a prism that confirms he's a jerk. Even the times when he's not a jerk, you'll interpret it as the exception to the rule that Bill's a jerk. It may take years of saintly behavior for Bill to overcome your perception. That's cognitive dissonance applied to others. It can be a disruptive and unfair force in the workplace. (c)
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As a general rule, people in their 20s want to learn on the job. In their 30s they want to advance. And in their 40s they want to rule. No matter what their age, though, understanding their desires is like trying to pin down mercury. (c)
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The only natural law I've witnessed in three decades of observing successful people's efforts to become more successful is this: People will do something'including changing their behavior'only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their own best interests as defined by their own values. (c)
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1. Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations'when it matters, when it doesn't, and when it's totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with "No," "But," or "However": The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right. You're wrong."
6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we're smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work": The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked.
9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be "me": Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they're who we are. (c)
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There is never anyone in the other boat. When we are angry, we are screaming at an empty vessel. (c)
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If you keep your mouth shut, no one can ever know how you really feel. (c)