Math Curse Book

What a fun book! I loved the illustrations and the convoluted way of looking at math. It is how I have always viewed the subject. Take for instance word problems. Bane of my existence! Take the story of the trains leaving their stations heading toward each other. The books always tell the speeds of the trains and pretend that nothing else could ever be a variable. Such as: Supposing that one engineer is chewing gum. And the other train has just hit a snowstorm icing the tracks. Then add to that the fact that the engineer chewing the gum was doing so because he forgot to eat breakfast. Add to that the fact that the engineer has blood sugar problems and he eventually faints and his foot leaves the pedal. At the same time the train caught in the snowstorm has slid off the right track and onto the dummy tracks. The fainted engineer's locamotive's emergency brake takes over. Where is the satisfying ca-boom?

Oh, then the teachers tell you that math problems help you in real life. Take for instance, figuring out how much paint you need to cover a certain amount of wall space. You do the math and find that by doing so you have saved yourself enough money to go see that newest movie and have snacks. But as you are doing the painting, the dog spots the cat and chase ensues. Said cat lands in the roller pan splashing said dog who blindly knocks over a full gallon of paint. How did all that wonderful math do for you, heh? No show.

Now back to the book. How many teeth and the shirt your uncle sent mean nothing as teeth brushing takes a minute (supposing he isn't checking out the shirts while brushing, splashing two out of five shirt with toothpaste. Of course, you never plan to wear the shirt your uncle sent, except on days when you know you will see him. Of the two left one is now wrinkled having crumpled it while brushing your teeth in that minute of haste. That leaves a mess on your bed and only one shirt.) Where's the problem?

The milky feet may mean a squishy walk to the bus. I believe the bus driver's name is true, well, actually Drew, but since there is always shouting on buses who heard it right?

The inkblot is the child's hand as he sinks into his seat, he bit off the end of a pen in his anxiety.

Body parts are everywhere. This kid is insane! So when you might think there is a logical answer to how many body parts an individual might have consider the kid with webbed fingers, and the one whose brother chopped off a pikie during that kitchen battle years ago... and what about the kid with the forked tongue who sits at the back right corner next to the door. I know there are ways to figure things out in that perfect world that mathematicians live in, but the real world can make you crazy!

Oh, and we were already told that you are only getting two slices of pizza so I would assume that the pie tastes greater. AND who would want M&Ms that have been in that muddy river? I'll take Reese's Pieces, please.

Fourafish sounds like the math that politicians use.

On the Binary planet they use one guy as the bowling pin and another guy as the ball but the gravity of the situation leaves them all up in the air laughing. Who needs a three-hole ball?

I was challenged by the equation that included age and shoe size and think the kid is wise to choose licorice. Besides he may need to wear this shirt again tomorrow if mom doesn't get around to the laundry; a kid so young as to not know fractions can't possibly know which cup to measure the detergent in.

The conundrum of the presidents left me weak with LOL. Beside let's just get Benjamin to decide!

The math story to put one to sleep and induces a nightmare that solves the whole problem. Nice thing is he only has a wrinkled shirt. That begins his next day. Oh, how I miss school!

Fun book!