Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience Book

Preface: Adoptee with a Capital A ix

Part 1 Lost

1 On Being Adopted 3

2 Messages from the Underground 9

3 The Adoption Game 12

4 The Chosen Baby 19

5 The Adoptee as Mythic Hero 28

6 The Adoptee as Double 34

7 The Adoptee as Survivor 39

8 Adolescent Baggage 43

9 Good Adoptee-Bad Adoptee 54

10 The Adoptee as Adult 62

Part 2 Found

11 Waking Up from the Great Sleep 71

12 Who Searches? 73

13 The Decision to Search 78

14 Stages of the Search 86

15 Varieties of Reunion Experience 101

16 The Journey after Reunion 139

17 Father-The Mini-Search 152

18 Siblings 162

19 The Unsuspecting Spouse 168

20 Aftermath: The Restless Pulse 172

Part 3 Roots and Wings

21 Taking Wing 177

22 Telling the Adoptive Parents 178

23 The Chosen Parents 183

24 Telling the Child 188

25 Birth Mothers-Are They Baby Machines? 207

26 Birth Mothers Who Search 228

27 Adoptive Parents-Are They Baby-Sitters? 256

28 The Right to Know 263

Afterword 270

Rights and Responsibilities for Everyone in the Adoption Circle 283

The Adoption Resource Network 289

Recommended Reading 303

Acknowledgments from the Second Edition 307

Notes and Sources 311

Index 323